#reg is secretly very thankful

[ultravioletbrit]

“thankful” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 361 words

“You’re very lucky, Mr. Black.” Madam Pomfrey tells him, adjusting the sling on Regulus’ arm. “This could have been much, much worse, were it not for Mr. Potter.”

Regulus glances to the hospital bed next to him and sees James’ smug smile.

“Right.” Regulus grumbles to Madam Pomfrey.  

“Alright, you boys get some rest.” She says, closing the curtain around their beds.

Regulus starts to settle down on his bed, but James doesn’t move. Regulus glances over again and now he has an expectant look on his face, like he’s waiting for Regulus to say something.  

“I suppose you expect me to be thankful now.” Regulus mumbles.

“I mean, a simple thanks wouldn’t hurt.” James shrugs.

“I’m not thanking you, Potter. You were a fucking idiot.” Regulus scoffs. “I was the only one that should’ve been hurt, but you had to be a hero and try to save me and now we’re both hurt.”

“Oh, yes. I broke my ankle, and you have a broken arm, how terrible.” James says sarcastically. “You almost had a broken fucking skull, Reg. Better two minor injuries than one life-threatening one—"

“It wouldn’t have been life threatening.” Regulus interrupts.

“Reg, you were unconscious, plummeting head first to the ground and Hooch wasn’t close enough.” James tells him. “You would’ve crashed, and it would’ve… it would’ve been bad, Reg.” James finishes softly, holding eye contact with Regulus.

After a moment, James sighs and shifts to finally starts settling down on his bed, moving one leg more carefully than the other.     

“How’s your ankle feel?” Regulus asks quietly after a minute of awkward silence.

“Kind of numb and tingly at the same time.” James shrugs. “I can’t put weight on it, so I’m stuck here for at least a day to give the skele-gro time to work. How’s your arm feel?” He asks.

“Feels alright. It’s in a sling for a day or two, so not bad. Could’ve been worse, I guess.” Regulus shrugs  

“Hmmm…” James hums. “Yes. It could’ve been much, much worse.” He mimics what Madam Pomfrey said earlier.   

Regulus sighs dramatically and huffs. “Fine. Thanks… I guess.” He mumbles under his breath.     

“I’ll take it.” James smiles brightly.

[ellecdc]

Hey elle!! ABSOLUTELY LOVED the grumpy x sunshine with Reggie

But what if McLaggen fucks up so bad that not only do people realise that our sunshine has a whole new side of her just to protect her bf

I mean, the happiest people ARE one of the most terrifying when angry🤷‍♀️

Hope you have a great day/night!! Drink lots of water and stay healthy!!

there's nothing like the moment when the sunshine character snaps, you're so right. thanks for your request!

Regulus Black x Lupin!reader who defends his honour [1.2k words]

p1 // p2

CW: fighting/violence, reader breaks McLaggen's nose, Reg thinks it's kind of hot, Sirius is a proud brother(in-law) and Remus is an exhausted (and secretly proud) big brother

Regulus Black wore a tight fitted mask from the moment he woke up most mornings to the second he went to bed, and generally, that mask fell for no one.

There were some instances that the mask would slip for Sirius, and it fell far more frequently for you, but generally, the mask was air tight.

And to the untrained eye, most people weren’t even aware that there was a mask being worn, but Sirius knew better - Sirius could see the signs.

Which is why when Regulus’ steps faltered ever so slightly as McLaggen leaned over to sneer something into his ear before his jaw clenched and he continued marching forward, Sirius was quick to blurt “what did he say?” once Regulus had made it to where he, Remus, and you were standing in the Central Hall. 

You stopped in your excited ramblings to cut a look to Regulus immediately - expression falling in a way that would be comical if it didn’t look so foreign on your face - asking “who” before he’d even had a chance to answer his brother.

“Nothing.” Regulus grumbled, standing tall and looking just past Sirius’ shoulder; though he couldn’t help but notice Regulus positioning his body directly between Sirius and McLaggen, whilst keeping his arm protectively behind you.

“What did who say?” You asked again looking between the Black brothers when your own didn’t seem to have the answer either.

“McLaggen.” Sirius said, never looking away from his brother who refused to make eye contact with him as he gestured to the sod with his chin . “He just said something to you as you were walking over here and now you’ve got that look on your face.”

“There’s no look on my face.” Regulus spat quickly. “This is just my face.”

“Did he say something to upset you?” You asked softly, and Sirius watched as Regulus’ shoulders fell slightly and he seemed to look at you apologetically.

“No, amour, it’s fine.”

“No it’s not fine, he’s lying.” Sirius accused, causing Remus to groan as he pulled on Sirius’ shirt sleeve, translating roughly to  ‘knock it off’. 

“What did he say about you?” You demanded then, and any signs of the bright, bubbly, effervescent girl you’d been mere moments ago as you excitedly explained the progress you and Pandora had made with the bowtruckles to your brother and his boyfriend were completely gone and overshadowed with worry.

Regulus seemed just as desperate to relieve you of that worry as Sirius was to never see it again. 

“He didn’t say anything about me.”

“About me?” You asked quietly.

“No, amour.”

“No one could possibly find anything bad to say about you, bubs.” Remus complained with a fond eye roll. 

“What’d he say about me, then?” Sirius questioned, causing three sets of eyes to point at Regulus in anticipation.

Regulus sighed and rolled his eyes - very un-Black and aristocratic of him, if you asked Sirius - and spared a look at McLaggen over his shoulder.

“Do you promise not to overreact if I tell you?”

“Absolutely.” Sirius agreed readily - though he knew damn well that what constituted a reasonable reaction was very different to Regulus than it was to himself. 

“He said our parents ought to throw me out like trash as they had with you.” He muttered quietly, and Sirius saw red.

But unfortunately, both Remus and Regulus had been so (correctly) prepared to grab Sirius by the back of the shirt and the arm respectively that he had no chance at enacting his very reasonable reaction to that news. 

Rather fortunately, however, is that both Remus and Regulus had been so prepared in stopping Sirius from storming over to McLaggen to correctly-react to that news, that neither of them even realised you’d gone storming over instead until your fist connected with McLaggen’s nose. 

“What the fuck!?” McLaggen hissed as he cradled his nose protectively with one hand and grabbed you by the arm with the other, though all that managed to do was limit your assault on him to one hand rather than two. 

“You’re a pathetic pile of shite McLaggen!” You screeched as your brother hauled you off of McLaggen (though Sirius was happy to note you got a few more good swings at him before), neither Black brother having realised Remus had left their sides as they both stood there staring at the spectacle dumbly. “Mummy and daddy told you it wasn’t your fault that they split but it is because she should have fucking swallowed you when she had the chance!” 

“Christ, bubs, stop it.” Remus hissed as he wrestled you over to Sirius and Regulus; the latter seeming to be brought back to reality now that you were standing in front of him.

Though, standing was a generous term, seeing as you were still being held captive by your brother as you tried to find a way out of his hold.

“Merlin’s tits, Y/N.” Regulus breathed out in disbelief, and only then did you stop fighting Remus and turned to look at your boyfriend. “What did you do?”

You seemed startled for a moment; eyes darting frantically over Regulus’ face as if looking for any signs of anger or disapproval. 

“You hit him.”

Your face broke out into a beaming smile as your usual bubbling energy vibrated through you and you stood on your toes in front of him. “Did you see that, Reg?” You asked, almost like you couldn’t believe it yourself. “I beat him up!”

A surprised laugh bubbled out of Regulus that surprised both Sirius and Remus just as much as your violent outburst had as he pulled you closer to him by your chin. 

“Did you just defend my honour, amour?”

“I’d rather say she was defending my honour, Reg.” Sirius argued. “You’ve got a wicked right hook, Trouble! Who knew!?”

“I did!” Remus nearly shrilled then. “I’ve been telling you all this; she’s been practising on me for years!”

“It’s not practising on you when you’re the one who taught me, Rem.” You countered as sternly as you could muster, but Sirius could still see that dimple near the corner of your mouth giving away the fact that you were trying really hard not to smile.

And by the way Regulus drew a gentle finger along the side of your face, he knew Regulus could see it too.

“What’s the damage on your hands, hm?” Regulus asked then.

“We’ve got a stash of wraps in our dorm for Moons that you can use.” Sirius added, pausing when Remus made a tentative sound.

“Perhaps we should get out of here before McGonagall starts asking what happened to McLaggen’s face though, yeah?” He muttered as the deputy headmistress came sweeping into the central hall. 

“They’ll never believe it was Y/N.” Sirius scoffed, causing Remus and Regulus to shoot him unimpressed glares.

“Exactly.” They said in unison before Regulus continued. “You’ll end up taking the blame for it.”

Sirius blanched at that. 

“Hey, didn’t she say that you’d be scrubbing toilets with a toothbrush until you’re fifty if you got one more infraction?”

Your question was met with silence, though, as Sirius was nearly half way up to Gryffindor tower before you turned back to look at him.

“Seeing as I’m the next most likely suspect, we should probably go too.” Remus announced, and the rest of you made like Sirius and quickly left the scene of the crime.

[poeticallyspiteful]

hiii! could you please write a regulus black x potter! reader? maybe something like reg and reader secretly going out and getting discovered by James?

thank you!! have an amazing day 💗💗

his muse (pt. one)

regulus black x reader

fluff / angst

cw: unedited as always 😌, a sex joke but it’s a titanic reference lol, marauders being overprotective, kissing, cuddling, someone may threaten to pull out someone’s teeth and put them on a necklace (it seemed like a very regulus threat), artist!regulus because 🥰

summary: you’re the honorary little sister of the infamous marauders; what happens when they catch you with a certain someone?

notes: hey love, thank you so much for the request!! just so you know, i don’t like to write readers to be related to another character, because i want my readers be able to relate to the ‘reader character’ without altering their preferred fancast for another one based on things like race or ethnicity. that is totally on me for not putting that in my request post and i will do that asap, but i hope you enjoy this anyway <33

more notes: i did get just a tad bit carried away and decided to divide this request into two parts, just to make it less overwhelming for me and y’all as well. anyways, enjoy <333

“oh reggie, paint me like one of your french girls,” you giggled, draping yourself dramatically across regulus’ pristine sheets.

he looked up from his sketchbook, brow furrowed in a way that made you want to kiss him until you both passed out from lack of oxygen.

god, you loved him.

“what?” he asked.

“nothing.”

evan and barty had both left the slytherin dorms, off to some place or another, giving you the perfect opportunity for some alone time with your lovely boyfriend. you’ve made sure to do this at least once a week since you started dating in your fourth year. now that you’ve reached sixth year, the tradition had only grown more cherished; precious were the moments spent with someone you’d been otherwise forbidden to see.

“he’s dangerous, (y/n),” sirius insisted, only just finished with his dramatic act of fake vomiting. you had made the grave mistake of assuming your friend would have a normal reaction upon hearing who had asked you to the yule ball.

“a slytherin, (y/n), how could you?” james moaned, collapsing onto the auto-man like he was faint in the heart. “you have been my little sister all my life—”

“you met me when you were twelve and we are not related,” you corrected.

james feigned offense. “how dare you question our bond? blood does not matter! we are family and that is that, young lady.”

“leave her alone, the both of you,” remus laughed, throwing an arm over your shoulder and pulling you to his chest. “our little girl had to grow up someday.”

sirius looked appalled. “not with my bastard, slimy, death eater of a brother—”

“he’s not a death eater, we’re fourteen!” you exclaimed, pouting dramatically at the older boy. “just one dance, i promise padfoot, if it’s that weird to you, i’ll never see him again.”

you lied.

sunlight peaked in through the curtains, the golden rays hitting regulus in such a way that made him look angelic. so focused on his sketchbook, glancing up every few moments to gaze at you like you were something to be revered.

you sat up in his bed, fiddling with the hem of his sweater that lay around your mid thighs; though you loved to, you rarely got the opportunity to wear reggie’s clothes, given sirius would recognize them in an instant. so, you took advantage of these moments whenever they came your way.

you loved wrapping yourself in the soft, strong, warm smell of him: minty cologne, sea salt, and pine trees. the scent was practically woven in the fabric, making everything feel so much softer, so much more him.

you did have a couple shirts and sweaters you’d stolen over the years, but they remained in your dorm at all times.

well, mostly.

it was a moment of stupidity. a dreary saturday morning, a hogsmeade trip, and you had slept in. naturally, you had to rush out of your dorm to get to breakfast in time; but, you didn’t need to change, did you?

why not wear the sweater you had slept in and save yourself a little time?

so, after changing into more appropriate pants, you made your way down the breakfast and sat in your regular spot; in between remus and james, and smack dab across from sirius.

he noticed his brothers favorite sweater the second you sat down.

“what’s that?”

you’d barely sat down by the time sirius spoke and continued making your morning coffee as the group grew silent around you. finally looking up, you glanced between your friends in confusion.

“what’s what?”

you lifted your sleeve to rub your nose, breathing in quickly through your stuffed up sinuses; stupid fall allergies.

you froze as the familiar sent cooled your insides, eyes darting over to the slytherin table across the great hall.

oh.

that’s ‘what’s what’.

“who’s jumper is that, (y/n)?” james asked, arm draping over your shoulders to tug the sleeve on the other side. “doesn’t look like one of mine—”

“or mine,” sirius chimed.

“or mine,” peter chirped, though you hardly stole borrowed his sweaters anyways (too scratchy).

“it’s mine!”

you were surprised to hear remus’ leap to your defense, as you knew damn well the sweater wrapped around you wasn’t his— still, you weren’t about to question it.

“mhm,” you hummed, taking a sip of your coffee, hoping the boys didn’t notice your shaking hands. “i don’t know what that third degree was about, but i stole this from moony a month ago.”

“what’re you thinking about, lovely?”

regulus was suddenly just inches away from you, sketchbook tossed to the side, instead opting to look at his muse more close up.

“nothing,” you mumbled, smiling as he dipped down to kiss your collarbone, working his way up to your lips with featherlight kisses that made you wish you could stay with him forever.

though at this point, everything he did made you wish you could stay with him forever.

“you’re beautiful,” he whispered, eyes scanning every curve and point of your face like a work of art; his work of art, his muse.

he’ll never get tired of that word.

you breathed in deeply, the smell of him practically making you glow like some sort of protection charm; you’d never felt safer than you did with regulus near. you felt untouchable with him, like nothing could ever hurt you.

“what are you doing here?”

lovely.

a grating voice to disrupt your terrible day.

“hey,” severus called. “i’m talking to you.”

you spun around, glaring at the greasy haired boy across from you with as much contempt at you could muster. “piss off, severus!” you shouted; you’d never bit back like this before, but the shocked look on his face was worth it. “really, cornering a younger student in an empty hallway? pretty cowardly, don’t you think?”

before you could debate the consequences of your actions, severus’ hand was gripping your cloaks and you were shoved up against the wall.

“you filthy little—”

just as quick as snapes hands were on you, they’d been torn off, and you scrunched to the ground. regulus shoved him up to the wall opposite you.

“defending your little mudblood, huh?”

“shut your filthy mouth about her or i swear on merlins grave, i will rip every single one of your teeth out and put them on a necklace like a string of fucking pearls,” regulus bit, baring his teeth, an emphasis to the threat. “you got that?”

that night, you ended up in a very similar position to where you were in now; wrapped up in your lovely boyfriends sweater, curled in his arms, and having sweet nothings whispered in your ear.

“y’know, i mean it when i say you are beautiful,” he muttered, pressing a kiss to your temple as he spoke, breath fanning over your face. it tickled, but you didn’t care; you just wanted to hear his voice. “breathtakingly gorgeous, inside and out.”

“really?” you teased, nuzzling your nose further into his chest, arms wrapped around his torso.

“really,” he laughed. “i could stay like this forever.”

you pouted, pulling yourself half on top of him. “but my daft friends just have to get in the way, don’t they?”

you hear a gasp from the doorway.

“did you just call us daft?”

[t1oui]

thinking about how living w regulus would affect harry like

he's such a fucking snob about everything. food, decor, fashion, you name it, he's got opinions on it.

he does ballet despite being the least graceful person on the planet. he's somehow pretty good at it, likely out of spite

speaks french

very much a cat person, has a cat named leo who is his baby

like yk how james and sirius are extremely codependent? that's how harry is w leo. both of them can not handle being apart from each other too long

reads a lot of stories

thinks seeker is the best quidditch position

on that note, lots of slytherin house pride. james hates it. harry refuses to put any gryffindor decorations up in his room

harry loves taking pictures just like reg so the house is filled with photographs

and ofc harry is snobby about what types of cameras he uses thanks to reg. james now just lets them deal with the cameras & photography stuff bc he's scared to get the wrong thing lol

harry is taller than reg but bc dysphoria all of reg's old clothes (like quidditch jerseys + hoodies and stuff) are his size so half his wardrobe is from reg's hogwarts days

definitely the type of guy to change his bedding & curtains & everything in his room based on the season. will anybody actually be in there other than him and his parents? not really, but he MUST redecorate

idk what this even means but snobby about candles. this is another thing james is scared to buy him

harry and reg speak french w each other more than english

since james doesn't speak french w harry (i hc he's only comfortable speaking it w reg) harry is used to having a conversation in two different languages so sometimes he'll be speaking french w his friends without noticing

he'll be in the middle of a rant and realize they don't understand a thing he's saying lol

reg and harry control the decorating for every holiday, every birthday, etc.

the one thing harry knows how to do that reg doesn't/reg didn't teach him is cooking. reg never cooked for himself as a child so james was the one who taught him

doesn't look like it most of the time but all of harry's clothes are very expensive... did i mention he's a snob

harry is such a dry texter/writer... he's such a dick about grammar when it comes to writing even tho he can barely string a sentence together when speaking

deeply sarcastic (look! a canon detail! we never thought we'd see that on this account, did we?)

will take his partners on the most expensive dates & whatnot like it's nothing... cedric the farmboy™️ is not prepared

writes sad boy poetry when he gets annoyed w someone... like harry will storm off all pissed and then he comes back 20 mins later with a beautifully written, very angry poem for whoever made him mad

has so many clothes & different curtains and bedding sets for different seasons that he also uses the closet in the guest room (reg takes up 99% of his and james's closet for the same reason)

has an inherent hatred of fake plants

bedroom is simultaneously tidy and so messy a hurricane might as well have come through

leaves a book behind everywhere he goes

secretly the worst sense of humor lmao

he may not have gotten his love of drawing/painting from regulus, but you def see reg in the way he is, you guessed it, a massive snob about art supplies

soooo indecisive. redoes his room at least twice a year

an asshole when he gets less than 10 hours of sleep... he's mildly tolerable after 3 cups of coffee (black, of course) but you might as well just ignore him until he gets a nap in

on that note is very good at making coffee and is, drum roll please, a massive snob about it. who would've guessed (somebody count how many times i've said snob in this post and comment it please and thank you)

if he doesn't like a gift he's horrible at pretending he's happy w it so people usually go through reg whenever they buy him something... this goes both ways too, people go through harry when buying something for reg

is visually james and lily's but in personality is really just reg's (and also lily's... he definitely inherited his spite from her lol)

is a crazy cat lady by age 20

at least 10 pictures of leo in his room... he has whole photoshoots for her and she poses for them

might as well not hang out w harry at his house bc he'll make out with his cat the whole time

loves going to art museums w regulus

he's a, surprise surprise, snob about art. james just doesn't comment on art altogether atp

his vocabulary is a weird mashup of french, english, and hindi that makes it very hard for anybody who doesn't know him well to understand what he's saying lol

looks angry until he smiles (he got this from lily but a life with reg has perfected it)

needs a golden retriever to his black cat in any given relationship (enter cedric and cho) (yes i'm going to push my rarepair on everyone reading this)

tl;dr being raised by/living w regulus has turned harry into a massive snob about literally everything and regulus is proud of it (blink twice if you need help, james)

[gonzoclock]

Do you have any fun deleted scenes or scrapped ideas from your fics? I know whenever I start writing a fanfiction they always evolve until I’ve all but scrapped the original premise. Also huge fan of your work, thanks for being such a huge inspiration to me!

Boy do I ever! (And as such this is going to be a LONG post, so buckle in.) (Also full of VERY OLD VERY FIRST DRAFT writing. Fair warning and all.)

In James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, (pause for breath) and the Prisoner of Azkaban I initially was going to just... keep writing. Have Regulus be back, explore the ramifications of that, etc. Unfortunately it was just... boring. So boring. So I scrapped it and decided to cut it down to where it currently ends. And trust me, that's for the best. That said, here is a sample of what that could have looked like (ft. a conversation between brothers):

Regulus takes a deep breath in through his nose. He needs to calm down, or he’s going to fall over. 

“Okay,” he says, opening his eyes. “Alright. Who’s Lord Black?”

“Me,” Sirius says, then pauses. “Uh, old me, I mean. I call him Senior, but he hates that.”

Regulus makes a note in his head to call old Sirius Senior, then immediately dismisses the notion. If Sirius, old Sirius is really Lord Black, then Regulus needs to be respectful. Even if the idea gives him hives.

“I need to talk to him, then,” Regulus decides. “Right now.”

“Are you sure?” Potter cuts in. “You could take a couple days? Term has already started, but it’s only been a week- you could get resorted and all settled into school, and then talk to Old Man Sirius?”

Regulus is shaking his head before the older boy can even finish talking. “No, I need to talk to Lord Black. He’ll tell me what to do.”

“You are not going to be impressed with him,” Sirius warns. “Because- and I cannot emphasize this enough- he’s me. He’s treating the title like I would, Reg.”

Regulus takes a second to let himself feel horrified, then shakes his head again. “Still,” he decides. “It would make me feel better. I need- I need to see the house.”

“Alright,” Sirius sighs. “Okay. We need to get you cleared by Madam Pomfrey, but then we can go.”

Regulus hesitates, then nods. 

“And- Regulus?” Sirius asks. Regulus braces himself. “He’ll probably freak out a bit when he sees you. It’s been around thirteen years for him since you died, and, well. He’s me.”

“Ah,” Regulus says. He thinks for a moment about how he’d react if he found out Sirius had died, and decides instead to think about literally any other thing. 

“We’ll go get Pomfrey,” Lily says, tugging Potter with her. Regulus watches them go, then blinks. 

“Hang on, why are they here? They weren’t on the Tapestry.”

“Oh,” Sirius says, then laughs. “The Tapestry was your origin story, Reggie. Me and James came from a magical Map, and Lily and Severus came from a book. The Philosopher’s Stone reacts to Blood Magic in a really fascinating way, yeah?”

“You- Severus?”

Sirius and Severus’s rivalry is legendary. And by rivalry, Regulus does mean bullying. It’s bullying.

Sirius sighs. “Yeah. We have to be friends now- or Lily and James will cry on us. Neither of us are very happy about it.”

“You’re not even- you’re not even secretly cruel to him?” Regulus asks, reeling. 

“Ha, nah. Turns out- and Reg, I will absolutely not hesitate to cram you back into that Tapestry if you go spreading this around- but it turns out that he’s… not a bad bloke. Just a bit prickly.”

Regulus sits back down on the bed, stunned. Sirius pats his back in commiseration. 

Regulus doesn’t even care that much about Severus, or who he’s friends with. What he does care about is that, apparently his brother is capable of… growing? And changing as a person? 

Maybe Regulus should re-examine his own views, since apparently nothing is sacred and anything goes.

Then there's Peter Pettigrew and the Ghost of Christmas James, which initially was going in a WAY different direction, if only because I sort of went into it with like no plan at all. Regulus was going to come into the story way earlier, as he'd just been hanging out at Grimmauld. For no real reason I can remember, either. He was just chillin. Here's some of that:

Peter’s never been to Grimmauld, but based on the stories Sirius had told them about the place, he’d expected darkness and dust and an overwhelming feeling of suffocation. 

Instead, the floorplan inside is surprisingly open (with a sitting room to the left and an office to the right, and stairs leading to the next floor just after that), the wooden floors are polished and gleaming, the windows are clean- it’s not cheery, not exactly, but it certainly doesn’t hold any of the doom and gloom Peter had been expecting. 

Despite the warmer-than-expected atmosphere, Peter feels very cold all of a sudden. Because not only are things clean, and (dare he think it) welcoming, the house is lit. Which means-

Someone rounds the corner, holding a steaming mug of what is probably tea. At the sight of Peter, Harry, and James still standing in the doorway; he freezes. And then, for a long moment, he simply stares.

Peter just… stares back. He is completely at a loss here. What the hell does he even do- should he be going for his wand? Can he- is this a fight he’s going to be able to win? He has no idea.

What he does know is that he’s getting really rather sick of all these dead people. 

“Hey, Regulus,” James finally says, albeit rather weakly. “You’re, uh, looking good.”

Chapter Break

James is right, of course- Regulus is looking good, surprisingly so. He’s wearing a sweater and casual slacks, and his long black curly hair is tied up and out of his face with what seems to be his wand. Around his neck is a chain, with an ornate looking ring strung through it and resting next to what might be an amulet of some kind. 

Most impressive of all is, of course, the fact that he’s not dead. In fact, Peter would go so far as to say that he looks very much alive- other than the fact that he seems to have a rather gray-tinged tone to his skin. 

Peter almost laughs at the absurdity of it all. What is his life? 

Unfortunately, true or not, James’s words break Regulus out of his stupor. In an instant, almost faster than Peter can see, he has his wand out and pointed directly at Peter.

“Drop the boy,” he says, wand unwavering.

Harry’s arms tighten around Peter’s neck at the same time Peter tightens his hold on the kid. His stomach swoops unpleasantly. He doesn’t remember how good Regulus is at dueling, but he doesn’t really want to find out with Harry right here. 

“I think the fuck not,” Peter says, keeping his voice as level as he can. 

“Yeah, no,” James says, arms folding. “We’re not-”

“Potter, I don’t know why you’re- back, or what’s going on, but you should know that Pettigrew is-”

The fear that had been mounting turns instantly to an icy-cold rage. Hypocrite.

“Is what,” Peter asks. “A Death-Eater? Because if you want to compare forearms, I’d be more than happy to-”

“Oh, fuck off,” Regulus says, glaring. “You know as well as I that the brand has nothing to do with it. One of the two of us is responsible for that child being orphaned, and it’s not me.”

“Maybe we should-” James tries again, but Regulus isn’t done.

“Kreacher, take the Heir to the nursery, please. Keep him safe.”

Peter has the time to tighten his hold on Harry before suddenly he isn’t holding anything at all. 

He doesn’t especially remember what happens next- all he knows is that one second, he’s standing empty-handed in the hallway, and the next he’s got Regulus against the wall, wand pressed into his neck. Regulus’s own wand has fallen on the floor in the interim. 

“Give him back,” Peter says. The rage, fear, guilt, everything that’s been a near constant for the last week- all of it is gone, leaving nothing but a sickening light-headed feeling in their place. 

Regulus’s eyes narrow, but he makes no move other than that. 

“I’ll kill you,” Peter says. He’s not bluffing. He couldn’t bluff right now if he wanted to- there’s nothing but cold calculated rationale sitting in his chest right now. If he kills Regulus, they can start tearing the house apart looking for Harry. If-then, cause-and-effect. Easy-peasy. 

Something in his eyes must show his thought process to Regulus. He swallows once- then forcibly relaxes his face again. “What makes you think it’ll stick this time?” Regulus asks. “Didn’t last time.”

 Peter is about to cast a cutting curse to Regulus’s throat to test that theory when-

“Regulus,” James says. 

And in an instant, the fear is back. Peter can’t help it- he tenses up. Regulus does too- and his eyes widen, looking over Peter’s shoulder. 

James’s tone is the cheeriest Peter has heard it be in a long time. But Peter doesn’t think that’s what Regulus is worried about, since to anyone but a Marauder James would simply sound pleasant rather than terror-inducing. 

Peter risks a look behind him- and then he throws himself back from Regulus, pressing his own back to the wall across from him. 

To the outside observer, it would look like James hasn’t changed at all- still just a ghost in a white sheet, with those two infernal eye holes cut out of it.

But there’s- Peter had thought those eyes looked like black-holes before, but that’s nothing compared to now. He can’t look away- James looks somehow both smaller than he is, and larger than anything else in the house. It’s like he’s turned himself into a point at the center of the universe, the pinprick before the big-bang. 

Peter has never had the misfortune of running into a Dementor, but he thinks that being kissed by one might feel something like how he feels now, just looking at James from fifteen feet away. 

“Bring my son back to me, please,” James continues. 

Regulus licks his lips, then clears his throat. “Kreacher, will you- bring the Heir back to us, now?”

Just as quickly as Harry had been torn away from him, Harry is suddenly back in Peter’s arms. Peter can’t help it- he sinks to the floor, gathering the kid close. His heart slows considerably at the familiar weight of the boy in his arms, the feeling of his arms around Peter’s neck. 

“Harry, are you okay?” Peter gets out, before he has to take in a huge gasping breath. Huh- he had definitely forgotten to breathe.  

“I met a new best friend!” Harry says, seemingly completely unfazed by what’s just happened. “His name is Kreach! Also Wormy, can I be a dragon when I grow up?”

“You can be whatever you want to be, bud,” James says. When had he floated over here? His hand waves through Harry’s hair again. Harry giggles, then rests his head on Peter’s shoulder.

Peter feels somewhat frozen. He just wants to get out of here, out of this place that Harry could be taken from them at any moment for any reason, never to be seen again. At that thought, Peter’s stomach twists. He feels nauseous. 

When the fuck did Harry manage to sneak into Peter’s heart? He’s a kid. Peter doesn’t like kids. 

Except this one, apparently. Damn it all.

Oh well, something to worry about another day. At least James seems to be back to normal. 

“Well,” Regulus says, hand clutching around the ring hanging around his neck. “That was… something. You can leave, now.”

Peter thinks that’s a great plan.

Then there's Regulus Black and the What the Hell, where originally the beginning focused much more on Harry and Luna and their silly hijinks. (Also fun fact: the horcrux in Harry's head was originally pulled out by Luna and turned into a half baby, half snake, which means by the time they got to Regulus he had two children AND a baby to worry about. Fortunately for him, I scrapped that idea.) Oh, and then I also had Regulus deciding to go to Severus Snape, which I managed to write all of one chapter of before realizing it was crazy ooc of him to even consider that lol. I can't find where that is, so I must have deleted it, but it existed once. Anyways, this sample is actually canon compliant with the posted fic, so take that how you will:

“Why- um, why are you here?” Harry asks finally, letting the snake down. 

“I followed a light,” Luna responds. Her face crumples again for a second, but then she clearly forces her expression to relax again. “I thought it would take me to my Mummy, but it just took me here.”

“Um,” Harry says. “Okay?”

Luna is staring at him again, her big eyes zeroing in on his forehead. 

“Does that hurt?” She asks. 

Harry’s hand reflexively reaches up and touches his scar. He runs his fingers over its bumpy spidery lines, zigzagging across a good half of his forehead.

“Sometimes,” Harry says, bringing his hand down. 

Luna reaches her own hand up and brushes her fingers over it. Harry holds his breath and sits as still as a statue as he feels her cool fingers run over it. Her brow furrows, and she frowns. She presses her fingers against his head a little harder. 

“Um,” Harry starts. 

“Sh,” Luna says. 

Harrys ‘sh’s. 

Luna’s eyes narrow, then she sits back again, looking satisfied. “I think I can fix it,” she decides. 

Harry blinks, although his heart is soaring. “Really?”

If Luna can get rid of his scar, maybe the Dursleys won’t think he’s a freak any more!

Luna nods. “It might hurt, though,” she says. “It’s really stuck in there.”

Harry sits back, thinking hard. 

“I can manage hurt,” Harry decides. “Do it.”

Luna nods again, face serious. Harry screws his eyes shut as she reaches her hand up again. 

At first he doesn’t feel anything other than her feather light fingers on his scar. 

Then there's a slight pulling feeling- which very rapidly goes from a gentle tug to an intense feeling of being torn apart from the inside out.

Harry doesn’t cry out, though- Harry’s not sure he could if he wanted to. He doesn’t have the air. 

It feels like it lasts hours. Then, with a final snapping sort of sound, the sensation stops and Harry topples over. He feels warmth trickling down from his forehead and down his face, past his eyes and nose and into his mouth. He thinks he tastes blood.

Harry gasps as he opens his eyes.

The girl is on the ground, either fainted or dead. Harry crawls over to her, grabbing at her arms despite the pain pulsing in his head. He props her up on his legs. Her head lolls, and he gives her a little shake to try and get her to open her eyes. She doesn’t- but she does take in a shuddery gasp. 

Harry looks around wildly. He doesn’t know what to do, but he needs to do something. He can’t just leave Luna here- if Petunia sees her, she’ll probably lock them both up in Harry’s cupboard. 

Instead of finding a solution, Harry freezes as he hears the back door begin to open. 

Chapter Break

The back door slams open, so loud that Harry jumps what feels like three feet into the air.

“HEY! Are you out here?” 

Harry lets out a long shaky breath as he sees his cousin walk outside, taking the porch steps down into the garden two at a time, and landing as heavily as he can each time. 

Dudley isn't ideal, but he's also not Petunia or Vernon. All in all, could be worse.

“Where are you? Mummy said you had to play with me,” Dudley calls, casting around the garden. 

Harry doesn’t think that’s true at all- Petunia prefers Dudley to ignore Harry. It’s Vernon who encourages the playing. 

Regardless of who it was, though, it doesn’t change the fact that soon Dudley is going to see Harry, and then Luna. Harry gasps.

What if Dudley wants to play with Luna? Dudley’s games hurt, and Luna can’t be hurt! She’s Harry’s best friend.

Harry has maybe seconds before they’re seen- what does he do?

It’s too late. Dudley sees Harry, and his eyes light up.

“What,” he asks, stomping over to where Harry is standing. “Is that?”

Harry tries in vain to position himself in front of Luna.

“Let me see,” Dudley says, stepping forward. 

“No,” Harry says.

“What?” Dudley asks, stopping.

Harry can’t blame him- bad things happen when Harry tells his relatives no. Harry knows that, and so do they. So Harry doesn’t say no, not if he can help it.

Harry grits his teeth. 

“No,” Harry says, stronger this time. “She’s just pretend.” “No she isn’t,” Dudley says, still looking a bit confused. That’s good- if he’s confused, then he’s not yelling for his parents. 

“Yes she is,” Harry says, nodding. “How else could she have gotten here?”

“She coulda climbed the fence,” Dudley says, kicking a lump of grass at the sleeping Luna. It falls just short. 

Harry shifts, thinking fast. 

“But where would she have come from before that? I pretended her.” 

“Well,” Dudley says, developing a shrewd glint in his eye, “if it’s all just pretend, it won’t hurt nothing to let me see. I want to see.”

“No,” Harry says firmly. “I’m pretending she’s poison- if you touch her, you’ll die.”

“That’s not fair,” Dudley says, expression turning thunder-y. “Move!”

He takes another threatening step forward, and Harry takes a reflexive step back. Too late, he realizes that he’s stepped right into one of the holes he’d been digging in the garden. He just manages keep from squashing Luna.

As he lands with a jolt, Luna shifts slightly. Harry looks back at her, then up at the slowly approaching Dudley.

Dudley smiles- it’s a cruel smile, one that Harry knows to mean that someone is about to get kicked, or bit, or hit. Or all three.

 Harry is usually alright with that- well, not alright, but it is a fact of life. The only thing is that he’s not the only available target right now- and he can’t let Dudley hurt Luna. He just can’t. 

Harry casts around, looking for something- anything- that could be used to keep the girl safe. There’s nothing, nothing but grass and weeds and- and a stick. A twig, really. Harry still reaches for it, then brandishes it up at Dudley. 

“Stay back,” Harry says, a bit shakily. 

Dudley laughs. “What,” he says. “You gonna cast a magic spell on me? With your fairy wand?”

“Yeah,” Harry says, narrowing his eyes. 

Behind him, Luna stirs again. Harry pushes down a wave of panic as Dudley’s eyes flicker to her. 

“Yeah,” Harry repeats, waving the stick around a bit. Anything to keep Dudley’s attention on him and not on Luna. “I’ll- I’ll turn you into a bug!”

Dudley gets a perplexed look on his face, then bursts into laughter.

Luna lets out a little groan, then props herself up. Harry’s heart leaps, then sinks again. He doesn’t know if Luna is going to be any help at all.

“Did it work?” she asks, squinting at Harry. 

“Who are you?” Dudley asks, sobering up. 

“Oh,” Luna says, looking past Harry and over at Dudley. She stands up, albeit a bit unsteadily, to face the boy. “I’m Luna. Who are you?”

“Want to play a game?” Dudley asks, plastering a fake smile on his face and brushing past her question. 

“No! Go away!” Harry says, a bit desperately. 

“Shut up, freak,” Dudley says, stomping down hard on one of Harry’s legs. 

Harry’s vision abruptly goes white, and pain bursts like stars in his head. As the sharp pain recedes, it leaves a pulsing sort of burning pain in its place- Harry can’t be sure, but he thinks his leg might be a bit broken now. It sure feels like a worse version of how his wrist had felt when that had been broken last time. 

When his vision clears, Harry realizes that he’s drawn his leg up to his chest. He’s shaking, and his cheeks feel wet- either his scar has started bleeding again, or he’s crying. 

“Baby,” Dudley spits. 

Harry just glares, biting on the inside of his cheek to keep himself distracted from the pain in his leg.

“What sort of game?” Luna asks, seemingly unbothered by Dudley’s violent outburst. 

“It’s called chase,” Dudley says, eyes snapping back to Luna. 

“How do you play?”

Harry shakes his head, and Luna’s big blue eyes flicker over to him. 

“Easy. You run- I chase,” Dudley says. 

“What happens if you catch me?” Luna asks, sticking her hands in the pockets of her overalls. 

Dudley smiles. “Nothin,” he says. 

Harry shakes his head again, biting down even harder. He thinks his cheek might be bleeding.

“Shut up, freak,” Dudley says, turning to look at Harry again. 

Harry can’t help but pull his other leg up too- he wouldn’t put it past Dudley to go for a round two. 

Dudley looks about ready to do just that when Luna says, “okay. Sounds fun. When do we start?”

Dudley’s smile is back. “I’ll give you a three second head-start,” he says. “One-”

Luna reaches out, placing a cool hand on the top of Harry’s head. 

“Two,” Dudley continues, grin widening. 

Harry squeezes his eyes shut. 

“Th-”

Chapter Break

“I forgot to ask what happens if we win,” Luna says, frowning.

Harry would respond, but he’s a bit busy dry-heaving onto the ground. The hard-floored, definitely-not-Little-Whinging ground.

“Where are we?” Harry asks, once he feels a little less like his stomach is trying to twist in on itself. Although- his leg does hurt so bad that every time he breathes it sends up little shooting reminders right to the back of his neck and then back down again.

Despite this, Harry looks up to take in his surroundings. They seem to be in a breaking down house, of some kind. It’s dark, and quiet, and dusty, and sort of makes Harry think of his cupboard- safe, but claustrophobic.

For some reason, Luna has started running around the room, waving her hands in big sweeping motions. It looks like she's trying to clear away a bunch of bugs- only Harry doesn't see anything of the sort.

“I dunno,” Luna muses, finally slowing down. “I followed one of your lights again. I feel really tired, now.”

“Oh,” Harry says. “Are you gonna-?”

Luna plops herself onto the ground, then simply lays down and closes her eyes. 

“Okay,” Harry says.

That's about it for published fics (the werewolf one has TONS but I haven't finished it yet so I don't want to share anything in case I use it, and my main series was surprisingly straight-forward), but I also have a couple other scraps of things that are otherwise never going to see the light of day, so here's what I have written of the first of those:

Prologue

“They say you’re the best,” says the stranger. Filch doesn’t know who he is, or what he looks like- he’s wearing a too-large hat, and an odd sort of cloak that obscures his features. He’s twirling a stick of some kind between his gloved fingers. 

Filch lets out a snort. “I wouldn’t say the best,” he says, “but I am pretty damn good.”

“I’ve heard the stories,” the stranger insists. “If you aren’t the best, I don’t know who’s better.”

“You haven’t done very much research then, son,” Filch says. “And you’d best start doing some now- I’m retired.”

The stranger leans back in his chair. “This one is worth coming out of retirement for,” he says. 

Filch can’t help but snort again, nearly choking on the laugh. “I’ve heard that one before.”

The stranger seems to stare at him from underneath that hood, then gets up to leave. “Very well- I’ll see myself out.”

Filch narrows his eyes. No, hang on. “I never said I wouldn’t hear you out,” he says. “I agreed to meet you, didn’t I?”

The stranger doesn’t relax, not quite- but he does settle back. “I thought you might say that.”

“Well?” Filch says, leaning back in his own chair. “Get on with it, then.”

The stranger leans forwards. “Tell me, Detective. Do you believe in magic?”

Chapter One

Argus swears to himself as he trips over a chunk of fallen armor. 

The cat chirps at him- he thinks she might be laughing at him. 

“Bugger off,” Filch mutters. 

The cat meows, twisting around Filch’s legs. He feels a rush of warmness for the thing despite himself- Filch has never been one for animals, but over the last decade he’s grown to appreciate cats in particular. Not that he’d ever willingly admit it to anyone, of course. 

“You think you’re so funny,” he grumbles. 

The cat chirrups again, then bolts off, leaving Argus to clean up. 

It’s hard to believe that Argus has been at this for a decade.

Or rather, hard to believe that it’s been just a decade. Magic notwithstanding, this has been one of the worst cases he’s ever taken on. Argus doesn’t even like children. Much less rich children. And rich magical children? Forget it. 

Sure, there's the occasional bright spot in the darkness- that Percy Weasley is almost enough of a good egg to atone for the sins of his brothers. 

As if. That’s not even close to true- it would take half a million Percy Weasleys to make up for one Fred, or half of a Charlie. 

Argus still doesn’t know how that boy managed to get so many damn baby dragons into the castle, and the fact that that’s on the (extremely short) list of cases he hasn’t been able to crack haunts him to this day. 

But that Nymphadora character- well, they’d been a headache and a half to manage, but they're the only student in the last ten years that got even close to recognizing Argus for what he is: namely, a damn good detective. 

The fact that they’d then immediately decided to turn Moriarty to his Sherlock is irrelevant- at least the ‘rivalry’ had been entertaining. At times. And the cat liked them well enough, at least. 

Enough to help them out on their escapades, even.

On second thought, there are no bright spots and all children are nothing but blights upon the face of the planet. 

Argus lets out a long sigh as he drags the bottom half of the suit of armor back to the pedestal. 

A decade. 

Argus had already been getting on in years when he’d officially retired- and now he’s nearing sixty-two. This case has taken a decade from him. Argus would’ve dropped it long, long ago- if not for the fact that the stakes are so goddamn high. 

Well, and the money. 

Argus was already pretty well off, but now he’s worth at least a few million dollars. Or he would be if he didn’t keep giving it all away. 

Damn bleeding heart- he curses his father every day for passing on that fucking moral compass. Why couldn’t he have gotten his mother’s coldness on top of her brains? 

Eh, whatever- it’s not like he needs the money anyhow. 

Besides, there is every chance in the world that Charlie Weasley would have stayed on as an assistant to the Care teacher had he not received an ‘anonymous’ grant giving him the means to get to Romania and into the program there- and Argus really would have given up on the case at that point, consequences be damned.

And then the first little bit of a particularly crack-y one:

In Which Kreacher Would Rather Die Than Let the House of Black Fall (And Gets Into a Loving and Committed Relationship With a Dementor About It)

Kreacher has been a staunch defender of the House of Black for millenia. Kreacher is old, even by Elf standards. Kreacher knows the magic, the family, the home, better than anyone else. Ever. 

Kreacher also knows that nothing lasts forever. 

Walburga Black, Lady Black, is as good as dead. Kreacher feels no one way about this. 

Orion Black is dead. Kreacher feels no one way about this. 

Sirius Black is imprisoned. Kreacher hates Sirius Black, Kreacher hates him, Kreacher wishes every day that Regulus had been born first, but Kreacher knows that isn’t the way and Kreacher knows that Kreacher hates Sirius for not being his brother more than anything else. And for the last three years, Sirius Black has been in Azkaban. For something he didn’t do, the Heir has no traitorous bone in his body, but nonetheless: Sirius Black is in Azkaban, and Kreacher can do nothing about it. 

Regulus Black is dead. Kreacher feels-

Pain. 

Besides the point. The Lady is useless, the Heir imprisoned for life, the- the Spare, deceased… there’s no point in denying it. The House of Black is ending. 

Kreacher just- and Kreacher does blame Regulus for this, that irritating boy that managed to worm his way into Kreacher’s heart enough to leave an exit wound on the way out- Kreacher just hadn’t anticipated it ending so soon. 

Except… 

There is one left. One more chance. 

Lady Black is useless, now. Kreacher knows this- he knows this because the magic knows this. Every day, the magic siphons more and more from Lady Black’s title, sending it Sirius Black’s way instead- the soon to be newest Lord Black. 

Kreacher is not one to question the magic’s judgment. 

Kreacher is one to grumble incessantly about it, though, and he will be damned before something ridiculous like the fall of the House of Black keeps Kreacher from doing just that. 

Soon, Sirius Black will be Lord Black. And there is to be an Heir Black, too. 

The child is not a Black in name. But the magic doesn’t lie- and for whatever reason (Kreacher will not question the magic’s judgment, Kreacher will not)- that means, Harry Potter is his last chance. 

Kreacher isn’t supposed to do this. But the House of Black isn’t supposed to fall, either. So Kreacher will interfere.

The stream of magic is as familiar as it is invigorating. Kreacher reaches out to it, wrapping its ribbons tightly around his own magic- although they look and feel nearly identical- and lets it carry him away. Away from the House, away from Kreacher’s home- towards the Heir. 

At first, Kreacher doesn’t know where he has ended up. Then, the dust clears- and Kreacher still doesn’t know where he’s ended up. A cupboard, of some kind, by the looks of it- a small one. And it’s occupied.

The little boy stares at Kreacher with huge green eyes, catching the only light filtering in through the closed cupboard door.  

Kreacher levels the most vicious glare he can at the thing. Kreacher is planning on using the boy to revitalize the House of Black, but he certainly doesn’t need to play nice to do that. And with the boy’s dark brown skin and unruly black curls, he has a distinct Potter look about him (aside from the eyes)- which means Kreacher is already less inclined to be nice than he already would have been to begin with. 

Still, he can’t just ignore the Heir, and Kreacher has questions he’d like answered. For one- “Why is the Heir in a cupboard?” 

The boy looks around, as though seeing it for the first time. Then, his gaze returns to Kreacher. He doesn’t say anything. Kreacher sighs. Enough of this. 

“Come with Kreacher,” Kreacher says, reaching a hand out. 

The boy doesn’t move. He just stares. Kreacher narrows his eyes. “The Heir is coming with Kreacher,” Kreacher says. 

Kreacher would just take the Heir. But for as little as Kreacher is supposed to be doing this, he’s not technically breaking any rules. But taking the Heir without the Heir’s permission? That would be breaking the rules.

Fortunately, the Heir is a child. And children love nothing if not to make deals. 

“If the Heir returns with Kreacher, Kreacher will provide the Heir a treat,” Kreacher says. 

The Heir’s eyes narrow further, and for the first time, Kreacher is realizing how small the thing is. Kreacher knows children, knows what they should look like and when. The Heir is four. The Heir should not look like he is two. 

Kreacher adjusts his tactics. 

“If the Heir returns with Kreacher, Kreacher will provide the Heir a meal,” Kreacher says. “Supper.”

The boy considers another moment. He is smart- of course he is smart. The magic may have limited options, but… Kreacher knows for a fact that there’s other children of the House of Black it could have chosen. This is, for whatever reason, the best choice. Which means the boy is- at the very least- bound to be intelligent. 

Intelligent, yes. But also, four. And hungry. The boy reaches for Kreacher, and Kreacher wastes no time taking them away in a swirl of magic. Back to the House. Back to the magic. Back to home. 

A home Kreacher will not let fall. 

***

There is something about the boy, Kreacher realizes. He has been home for a little under two weeks now, and things are going… well. Surprisingly well. Kreacher had thought there would be more fighting, more tears, more tantrums once the boy realized Kreacher had no intentions whatsoever of taking him back to wherever it is he came from. There is none of that. 

But there is something. And it’s not anything good. 

It takes another three days for Kreacher to realize what it is. What he’s feeling, where he’s felt it before. 

The Heir is sitting at the table, coloring quietly and intermittently snacking on pretzels. Kreacher is keeping an eye on the boy, because Kreacher is no stranger to children- and the quiet ones tend to be the ones that need the most watching. This one… isn’t, he is polite and attentive and not at all prone to whinging, but Kreacher will not let that lull him into a false sense of security. So he will watch. Even though that involves hours upon hours of sitting with the child in silence. (Kreacher doesn’t know if the boy speaks yet. Regulus was the same way. Kreacher does not think about this.)

Kreacher is patient, and not prone to boredom. But he does not sit idle- he investigates the magic, twirling and twisting it around, checking on its strength, the direction of its flow. 

The magic likes the Heir. But not all of the Heir. It will not, for example, go anywhere near the branching lines of the scar plastered across his face. It hasn’t the whole time the Heir has been here, and Kreacher wants to know why. 

He’s gotten sick of passive observation. It’s time for direct action. Kreacher wields his own magic, and pokes it at the scar. 

And the magic screams. 

The boy doesn’t notice, because his core is not yet awake or active- and Kreacher is glad of it. The less aware the boy is of it, the less it will take root, Kreacher hopes. 

But Kreacher notices. Notices, and realizes. By the time Kreacher’s ears have stopped ringing, his eyes have stopped streaming tears, he’s already moving, reaching to find something he's done his best not to think about. 

The last four years have not been easy on Kreacher. This is for a lot of different reasons- the fall of the House of Black, Lady Black’s descent into madness, Regulus dying…

The locket. 

Kreacher spent a long, long time trying to find a way to destroy the odious little thing. When he finally realized he was doing more harm to Kreacher than he was the locket, he tucked it away- safe, hidden. Kreacher would destroy it, he would… just not now. Not until the House of Black was strong once more. 

Now, it seems, Kreacher has no choice. Because the soul of darkness that lies in the locket, the one that killed Regulus and hurt Kreacher…

It lives in the Heir’s head, too. 

And Kreacher will not let it take the boy. Not another one. 

There is one thing that Kreacher had thought about trying. A last-ditch, desperate attempt to destroy the locket- or, rather, what the locket contains- for good. The danger it posed, though… was far too great. Kreacher hadn’t dared attempt to risk it. 

Now, though? 

Kreacher doesn’t think he has a choice. 

***

Kreacher waits until the Heir is sleeping. The boy sleeps lightly, but Kreacher is not worried- between the silencing charms, the warming charms, the enchanted harp strumming lullabies, and the child-proofed room (warded, of course, to prevent wandering), Kreacher knows very well that the Heir is not going anywhere. Kreacher has never technically had to raise a child on his own, but he is very old, and he has encountered his fair share of neglectful parents. Kreacher is confident in his ability to keep a child alive and well. 

Not so confident is he in Kreacher’s ability to make a child feel loved, but that’s never been a priority of Kreacher’s. There have been many Lord Blacks that grew up without love, and they’d…

Kreacher pauses, thinking about Walburga Black, and the desperate measures Kreacher is taking to keep the House from falling because of her actions, and because of the actions of the Lords and Ladies before her. Then, he sighs. Kreacher will add ‘finding someone to love the Heir’ to the list- after taking care of the Horcrux in the boy’s head. 

The Locket is as despicable as ever. Unfortunately, Kreacher requires it for this next step. The next step, being, of course, Azkaban. 

Kreacher doesn’t want to go to Azkaban. But desperate times call for desperate measures, so Kreacher lets the stream of magic take him away, until it will take him no further, and then he begins to pull, dragging himself inch by inch towards where the magic itself freezes over, sinking chill into Kreacher’s bones and making him feel every inch the 8,000 year old Elf he is. 

Still, Kreacher pulls. And pulls. And pulls and pulls and pulls until finally Kreacher is coming to a stop on the isle, shivering and breathing hard. The ground beneath Kreacher is rough and stony and sharp, and Kreacher presses himself harder into it, the pain piercing through the steadily rising fogginess that is clambering at Kreacher’s mind. Around his neck, the Locket hums. It can sense the like magic, Kreacher is sure, and it feels at home. 

Kreacher does not think that will be the case for much longer. Not if things go according to plan. 

The magic cannot be used to move any further, as it’s too atrophied. Kreacher can’t use the Black family magic either, as…

Well. Kreacher doesn’t want it to know he’s here. It’s shameful, an Elf coming here. Unheard of, even. The less waves Kreacher makes, the less likely the magic of his home, of his family, will take umbrage with his actions here. 

Kreacher looks up the sheer cliff he has found himself at the base of, and then further still. Kreacher cannot see as well as he used to, but he can still make out where the face of the cliff turns into a building. Dark, and rough, and bleak, square and utilitarian in its single-minded purpose. Even from here, Kreacher can tell the building is nothing but a husk, hollowed out of everything that gave it life. Assuming it had life to begin with.

And last but not least, one of my favorite hp things I've ever written, and also EXTREMELY crack-y, and I may or may not come back to it eventually but you get a sneak-preview anyway:

Prologue

Once upon a time, there were three brothers. 

The eldest was shrewd, and his ambition blinded him, and he died, and thus he served his narrative purpose.

The second eldest was brash, and his recklessness ruined him, and he died, and thus he served his narrative purpose.

The youngest was smart, and brave, and most of all humble- and he saw his brothers both fall, and took their failures as the object lessons he knew they were, and because of that he got his happy ending. And thus, he served his narrative-

No, hang on. That’s not quite right. Not this time.

This time, there were only two brothers- and the first got to be smart, and the second got to be brave, because in this fairy-tale there was no little brother to be the best of them both. 

Although- there was a little sister. 

But little sisters don’t get to be the best of their older brothers. Little sisters to older brothers are to be treasured, and protected, and when her older brothers are just a little too smart, or a little too brave…

Little sisters get to serve their narrative purpose. 

Which was… what, again? Oh! Of course.

To die.

And thus, she served her-

Wait. Is that a little too sad? Hm. Well.

Let’s not pick this story, then- let’s choose another. Here, how about this?

Once upon a time, there were three sisters.

Chapter One

Ariana takes a deep breath in and holds it for a beat too long- just like mother said to do when things get to be a… little much. 

Above her head, another spell shoots past, missing her by inches and shattering into fractals against the wall that showers down little red sparks onto her arm. It stings, and Ariana doubles down on not breathing, as the alternative is hyperventilating. 

This is not a ‘little much’. This is the end of the world.

“Look at what you did,” Albus says, in that cold uncaring voice he’s taken to using around them. The one that makes him sound like he thinks he’s better than them. “You nearly took Ariana’s head off.”

“That was you, asshole!” Aberforth yells, flinging another spell Albus’s way before ducking back behind the overturned table as Albus sends one right back. “Look at her, she can’t even move, she's so scared! What is the matter with you?”

Well. Aberforth isn’t wrong. Ariana is terrified. Albus is leaving, Aberforth is fighting, and Ariana is- well. Put it this way. If she can’t get control of herself?

She’s going to kill them all.

“Albus, we really should be going now,” Gellert says, buffing his fingernails from where he’s safely sitting behind a shimmering shield.

“Fucker,” Aberforth spits. Gellert shrugs.

Ariana’s going a little lightheaded, as she seems to have hit her limit as far as lack-of-oxygen-intake goes. She inhales. It doesn’t do much- not against the sticky feeling of her magic clinging to her airways. 

(According to mother, the magic goes to her lungs first, because that’s the easiest place to start. 

“It wants to ride the air all the way through your body,” mother said. “Don’t let it do that.”

“Okay,” Ariana said. “But what about when I need to breathe?”

“You need to breathe less than you need the magic not to take over,” mother said. “Better you faint, first.”

“Okay,” Ariana said.)

“Fucker,” she whispers to herself, on the exhale. She’s not supposed to swear, but the fact that she can feel her magic as much as she can means that she’s much closer to losing control than she’d thought- and also Aberforth had just said it, which means she gets to, too. It’s only fair.

Another spell shoots just past her, and she inhales again on reflex- and can almost feel the magic creeping further and further through her body, like an insidious parasite that’s gleefully making its way through her bloodstream. 

Her stomach twists. She doesn’t know if she’s going to be able to pull this one back. 

Ariana resumes not breathing. 

“Can’t you just stay?” Aberforth pleads. 

Ariana doesn’t know why he bothers, he’s fighting a losing battle. Albus has always wanted to leave, always had grander aspirations than this, so why bother forcing him to stick around? 

Well, besides the fact that that would leave Aberforth to deal with her. The Dumbledore household’s resident ghost-that-isn’t-dead-yet. The fading echo. 

Ariana feels her eyes well with tears. Useless. Less than useless. A burden. That’s all she is. Even to Aberforth, her favorite Aberforth, the one that holds her after her nightmares and sings her to sleep and still reads her stories when she asks (even though at twelve she’s practically all grown up now) and finds kittens for her to play with and mends all of their clothes and argues with Albus over who’s turn it is to do dishes even though they’re magic and-

Even to him, Ariana is nothing more than a chore.

Her magic continues to creep, bringing with it a nauseating empty feeling- like it’s hollowing her out as it goes. 

“No,” Albus says, simply and casually and cruelly. 

Ariana’s heart breaks a little, then. Albus is leaving. She doesn’t think she believed it, not until just now. Aberforth is her favorite, yes, but she loves Albus just the same.

He’s her oldest brother, the one who teaches her about history and the stars and helps her through her math lessons and retells her favorite greek myths over and over again with the same excited passion he has for teaching anyone about anything, no matter how many times she’s had him tell her about the labyrinth, or about Aphrodite, or any of it-

And he’s leaving?

“No,” Ariana hears someone say. She thinks it may have been her.

It must have sunk in for Aberforth too, because he lets out a wordless scream of rage. But this is Aberforth, and he’s always been a bit hotheaded, so he doesn’t leave it at that. No, he fires one last spell at Albus- and this one. Oh, this one flies true, shooting towards Albus in a magnificently clean-cut arc that has his blue eyes widening. 

Gellert, quick as a flash, has his wand out and is shooting his own spell- and as true as Abe’s aim had been, Gellert’s aim is truer. 

It hits the spell, changing its trajectory and forcing it to veer sharply right- right towards where Ariana is sitting frozen on the couch. 

Albus’s eyes widen further, and his mouth opens as he raises his wand as well, shooting out a third bolt of light. 

And the funny thing is, Ariana is sure that if he hadn’t, then it would have missed her the same as the other spells did. But he had. And it changes the trajectory for a second time. 

And the magic inside of her surges. 

And then- 

Everything goes white.

Chapter Two

“Er,” says the voice.

Ariana tries to blink, but she seems to have forgotten how to open her eyes. Or- maybe it’s that she’s forgotten to close them? Everything is so bright. 

What’s happening? Where is she? 

“I don’t normally get to say this in my line of work, but- are you alright?”

Ariana tries to get up from where she thinks she’s lying on the floor, but that’s about as effective as blinking is. 

“And- well, I get to say this even less, but- have you considered trying to breathe?”

Ah! Breathing. She remembers how to do that. 

As the rush of cool air enters her lungs, she feels the last vestiges of her sick magic ebb away as well- the same way it always does after she’s had an episode. 

Which, of course, means she’s just had an episode. 

And just like that, the events of the last hour come rushing back to her, and Ariana is suddenly on her feet and breathing hard, heart hammering at a million miles per hour. Unfortunately, she’s still extremely off-balanced, which means she’s overshot and is in the process of falling flat on her face when the man catches her.

“Careful, there,” he says. 

Oh, absolutely not. 

“Get- off- me,” Ariana hisses, pushing back and nearly falling over again in the process. Her heart is beating so quickly she thinks it may give out. She does not like being touched by anyone but her brothers, let alone men. Men she doesn’t know, especially. 

“Ah,” the man says, a sad sort of recognition dawning on his face. “Yes. Trauma. This I am accustomed to.”

As she recovers from her stumbling backwards, she gets a better look at the man- he’s wearing a simple black robe that makes him stand out in sharp contrast from the oppressive white blankness of the rest of the world. He’s tall, too, with dark brown skin, and a crooked sort of smile. He’s got a mop of curly black hair that falls charmingly over his forehead, brushing up against his long dark eyelashes- which are framing his sparkling green eyes, looking at her with a soft sort of kindness she’s only ever seen from Aberforth. That, more than anything, calms Ariana- but not by much. 

“Usually, this is the part where I try to tell you that this is all just part of the journey and, considering your age, that things are going to be alright in the long run. The problem is that I don’t actually know what you’re doing here or why any of this is happening at all.” 

Ariana doesn’t know what he’s talking about, or where she is, or what’s going on, but her head is starting to hurt from all the bright white and she’s still feeling light-headed, and there’s a niggling feeling in the back of her mind that’s trying to tell her that something is incredibly wrong here and-

“You know,” the man says. “I think I’m going to try and make things a bit more comfortable for the both of us.”

And then he’s snapping his fingers and just like that, quicker than a blink, instead of standing in the middle of a white void Ariana is sitting in a cushy armchair in front of a roaring fire, wearing a simple blue dress, and holding a fragile-looking teacup with little flowers (daffodils, her mind supplies) painted delicately on the side. There’s a curl of steam wafting off the surface of the tea. She doesn’t taste it, because she still doesn’t know what’s happening, but it smells like chamomile, and despite herself, she relaxes. 

In front of her is the man, sitting on a matching chair- he’s changed as well, wearing a black dress-shirt, slacks, and dress-shoes. Instead of a teacup, he’s holding a sheaf of papers, frowning slightly as he reads through them. 

Ariana shifts in her seat. She’s certainly not going to bring attention to herself by asking silly questions like ‘who are you’ and ‘where am I’, so instead she turns her focus inward. Namely, towards her magic. 

Normally, after an episode, her magic is withdrawn and distant for weeks, if not months. That said, she can still feel it. She can always feel it. It’s a rot that’s eating her from the inside out. How could she possibly not feel it? 

She takes care to keep track of it, though- even when it’s distant like this. Just in case. Except- it doesn’t feel distant. Nor does it feel like an infection. 

It feels like it did before. Which is impossible. Unless-

And just like that, Ariana knows both where she is, and also who the man is. 

“Are my brothers dead as well?” Ariana asks, since she’s no longer got anything to be afraid of. 

Well- besides the answer to that question. 

“No,” the man- Death, that’s Death- says absently, still looking over the pages.

Ariana sinks back into her seat, letting out a huge sigh of relief. Good. That’s- that’s good. She might be dead, but- well, it was bound to happen sooner rather than later, and at least she didn’t take any of her family out with her. She’s not happy about being dead, but honestly? Could be worse. At least there’s an afterlife, apparently. 

Death is still completely immersed in his pages, and his head is cocked now. Whatever is on that paper, it must be interesting. Or concerning. “Although- to be completely honest? I don’t know if you are, either. Dead, I mean.” 

Ariana feels her blood turn to ice in her veins. 

That should probably have filled her with hope, or relief, or something- but she can’t help but wonder… if not dead, what else?

And is it going to be worse?

Death must pick up on her apprehension, because he finally looks up from his papers. “Oh, sorry- I mean, it’s nothing to be worried about. Probably. I mean- damn. Sorry. I’m not very good at this. Honestly, your situation is probably much more in my Lady’s wheelhouse. I’m not sure why the powers that be sent you my way.”

“Are you being vague on purpose?” Ariana asks. She didn’t mean to sound so biting, but to her credit, she is very worried. And apparently, now that her magic is no longer forcing her to freeze in the face of danger, her natural inclination is to provoke it instead. 

This is probably going to be an issue in the future, if she has one- Ariana has been compared to a baby bird by her brothers more times than she can count, and although she loathes the comparison she can’t help but see the reasoning behind it. Her watery blue eyes are far too big for her pointy face and she’s small and bony, much smaller and sharper than all the other village children (from what she'd seen of them through the windows), and although her hair is long and blonde it’s wispy too- feathery, even. Also, her nose is rather beaky.

The point is, she is not in any shape to fight anyone, ever. 

“No, I’m sorry,” Death says again. He does sound genuinely apologetic, so Ariana decides to forgive him. For now. “I’m trying to figure this out- reading your file, that sort of thing.”

“File,” Ariana repeats, the goodwill she’d managed to scrounge up for Death rapidly dwindling almost as soon as she'd pulled it together. 

“Yes,” Death says. “Surprisingly bureaucratic, death is.”

“I see,” she says. She doesn’t.

“Really, I should be calling my Lady up, but-”

“Who is your Lady?” Ariana cuts in. On purpose or no, the deity is being ridiculously obscure, and if she needs to ask clarifying questions then by god is she going to be asking them. 

“Oh,” Death says. “Magic. My Lady Magic.”

Ah. Hm. Ariana doesn’t really- hm. She doesn’t have much to say to that particular deity. Not anything especially kind, in any case.

“I would prefer it,” Ariana says, somewhat carefully, “if we could leave… her out of this.”

 “Yes,” Death says, flipping a page over and squinting at it. “I thought you might say something like that. And, frankly, I would prefer that as well- she’s been planning something of a- well, she calls it a ‘game’ but I think it’s probably more akin to something that will dictate the fate of the universe and what-have you- and she’s been rather tetchy because of it.”

“And you are quite sure you aren’t trying to make me feel completely lost on purpose?” Ariana asks, raising an eyebrow in what she hopes is an expression similar to the one Albus is fond of- namely, the ‘you are being unnecessarily irritating to me right now’ expression. 

Death looks at her for a moment, then has the audacity to laugh- although he catches himself nearly immediately afterwards, sobering up. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I- sorry.”

“Yes,” Ariana says, feeling her nose wrinkle. “Quite.” “Right,” Death says. “Well. The good news is that I think I’ve figured it out.”

This startles Ariana out of her annoyance. “You- you mean to say you’ve figured out what’s going on? Just now?”

Death nods, green eyes glinting with mirth. 

“But- how? We’ve been talking this whole time!”

“Oh, dear one- I’m Death. If I couldn’t handle a little bit of multi-tasking, I’d be pretty much sunk.”

Ariana can’t really argue with that. In fact, now she feels somewhat foolish. She takes a sip of her tea instead, in an attempt to cover her embarrassment. It’s delicious. “Well?” She asks, bringing the cup back down to her lap. “What is happening?”

“You- hm. Well. There are two things I know for sure about you. One of which being that you are without a doubt dead, which is why you came to me,” Death starts. 

Ariana hesitates, then nods. She’s feeling surprisingly conflicted about that- she thought that is what she’d have preferred, at least compared to the unknown, but it’s just hit her-

She’s twelve. 

Maybe she didn’t want to die quite yet. 

“And the other thing?” Ariana asks, voice wavering just the slightest bit. 

Death clears his throat. “Right. The other thing I know for sure about you is that you are, er, also-”

“Also what?”

“Very much alive?”

Ariana stares at Death. Death looks back at her, smiling awkwardly. 

“You are terrible at explaining things,” she decides. 

Death sighs, smile dropping. “Yes. You’d think I’d be better at it."

Chapter Three

Ariana takes a deep breath, relishing in the feeling of being able to breathe so freely without her magic encroaching. “Okay. One more time. What, exactly, is happening to me?”

“You’re not dead, either. Hence the- the breathing. And heartbeat. And showing up entirely unannounced.”

The problem is, that doesn’t make any sense to Ariana at all. How can she be both dead, and not dead? 

For once, Death seems ready to try and actually explain: “basically, in the simplest possible terms, you had a magical… accident, let’s call it.”

Ha- accident is one word for it. Ariana prefers the term ‘attack’. Or, possibly, ‘allergic reaction’. Or maybe even ‘catastrophe’. She nods for Death to keep going, though- now is not really the time to argue over semantics.

“Your magic reacted to your brothers’ and Gellerts’ spells, and resulted in two things: your death, and also your displacement.”

“Displacement.”

“Yes,” Death confirms. “In time, specifically.”

“Time,” Ariana repeats. 

“That’s why you came to me here, in the pocket outside of where space and time intersect, instead of- well, you’d have no way of knowing this, but normally, I’d have gone to you. Let you down gently, before leading you on. There hasn’t been a person here in- well. Maybe ever. Not linearly, anyways.”

Ariana hesitates, then nods. She’s not one-hundred percent following, but she thinks she gets the gist. 

“The point is,” Death continues, “is that now you have a choice.”

“Choice?” Ariana asks, feeling her heart skip a beat.

“Dear one, you’ve done nothing but repeat my words back to me for the last several minutes. Haven’t you gone long enough feeling like an echo?” Death asks, and although there is a note of reproach in his voice, Ariana thinks it was meant to be in good humor. 

She’s not really in a humorous sort of mood. 

Ariana would like to feel more indignant over that, but mostly she feels abruptly very sad. It’s not like Death is wrong, after all- that is exactly what she’s felt like. Her whole life, almost. 

Just a fading echo.

She looks down at the teacup in her hand, tracing the daffodils with her thumbnail. All at once, something hardens in her chest. Ariana is done with that. She’s never- she is never being someone else’s echo, ever again. 

With that thought, she looks back up at Death. He looks somewhat bemused, but raises an eyebrow in an obvious gesture for her to speak her piece. 

“You said I get a choice,” she says. “I want whichever one that lets me keep living.”

Both of Death’s eyebrows are up, now. “Are you- dear one, are you sure? Because- and I may be a bit biased, but- death is a significantly easier choice.”

“I don’t care,” Ariana says. “What do I need to do to get back?”

“You don’t,” Death says. “You’re out of time. Literally, outside of time. I can- I have the option to bring you back to life, which is something that has quite literally never happened to me, but- it wouldn’t be your old life.”

Ariana doesn’t think she cares. In fact, she thinks she might prefer that. 

She was already never going to see her brothers again. She’s made her peace with that. 

Well- probably she has. 

Doesn’t matter. She’ll have the time to do that later. 

“Well then. Tell me what I need to know about my new life,” she says.

Death smiles, softly. “Okay,” he says, before immediately launching into his explanation. “For one, this isn’t going to be a reincarnation deal- you still have your body, so I’ll just be slipping you into your new time as is.”

“Where? Or, when? Or do I get to choose that, too?”

Death laughs ruefully, and shakes his head. “Certainly not,” he says. “There’s a very specific spot opened up for you. Don’t ask me why, that is squarely in my Lady’s wheelhouse and I don’t think she’d explain it even if we asked.”

“You didn’t tell me where, though,” Ariana says. 

“Hm,” Death says, checking his paper again. Ariana has the suspicion that that might just be for her benefit- make him seem more human. “Sixty-seven years.”

Oh. Oh, that’s- that’s almost no time at all. Unless- which direction?

“In the future, or the past?” 

“Future,” Death says. “Speaking strictly linearly.” 

Huh. Forget not seeing her brothers again- they could very well still be alive in her new time. 

“Where?”

“With an old family,” Death says. “England. Not far from home at all- in more ways than one.”

Ariana’s brow furrows as she thinks, fingernails tapping absently on the teacup. It’s not exactly the brand-new start she’d been hoping for, but it’s also not death, so- she’s not about to complain. 

“And my magic?”

Death grimaces. “See, that’s my Lady’s wheelhouse too- only in this case, I really don’t know. You could still be an obscurial-”

“Obsc-” Ariana remembers her resolve not to echo and switches gears mid-word- “A what?”

“Er- a person with a magical illness like yours.”

“Oh,” Ariana says, resolving to look up the term as soon as she gets back. Or- forward. 

“As I was saying, you could be the same, or… or your magic could be perfectly healed, like it is now, or something in between- or maybe you won’t have magic at all. I don’t know.”

Ariana desperately hopes for the latter. But she isn’t expecting it. Ariana has long since learned it hurts less to stay as realistic as possible. She doesn’t think her magic is a curse lifted as easily as all that. 

Ha- as if dying and coming back to life seventy years in the future is easy. 

But still.

“You said I’ll be with a family. What family? And- how? If I’m not being reincarnated…”

“That,” Death says, “is going to be the trickiest bit. I’ll have to rework some things- and I definitely won’t be able to catch everyone. But for the most part, it will be like you’ve always lived there- born and raised.”

“Without changing my appearance?” “Like I said- I’m simply slipping you in. Same as ever.”

Ariana nods, feeling somewhat relieved. She didn’t really want to have to deal with a new body on top of a new everything else. 

“Except,” Death says. “I do believe you’ll need a new name.”

Ariana looks up at him. He looks apologetic, but… 

“I get to choose?”

Death pauses, looking a bit surprised- likely at the eagerness in her voice. “I don’t see why not,” he says. 

Good. A body is one thing, but a name… this is good. After all, she’d wanted a new life, and what better way to signify that by leaving her old name behind? It’s poetic.

Besides, she’d never really liked the name ‘Ariana’. It’s a derivative of Ariadne- the princess who gave all of herself away to Theseus, only to be abandoned. Not a bad myth, not by a long shot, but-

Ariana is tired of being someone who gives all of herself away. 

She looks down at the teacup in her hands. The one with the little painted daffodils. 

This time, she wants to put herself first. 

This time, she’s done being the echo. 

This time, for once, she’s going to be the one echoed. 

“Narcissa,” she says, looking back up at Death. “My name is Narcissa.”

Death looks at her for a moment. Then, a smile spreads across his face. “Nice to meet you, Narcissa. Now- let’s get you home.”

ANYWAYS THE END

Holy shit that was. So long. Thank you for all those that stuck around long enough to get through what is essentially a pile of scraps.

And thank you for the ask! I always love the chance to talk about some of the behind-the-scenes stuff :D

[asmo-d3us]

No because I just got this phenomenal fanfic idea of the Marauders Era. It's a Pirates of The Caribbean AU, and Voldemort is Davy Jones, while Barbosa is Dumbledore.

James is in the place of William Turner. He’s the black smith for The Blacks (Swans, in the movies). He was found on a “boat” made from the wood from the broken down ship, and Regulus was the one who had seen him. He was the one who had told his parents to bring him aboard, and they did so, reluctantly.

Sirius isn’t Elizabeth Swan, he’s like an added character. The older brother of Elizabeth (Regulus), who grew up with James and they were best friends. He always thanks Regulus for saving him and Reg merely sighs because that’s his crush and he can't spend any time with him! Sirius falls in love with Remus Lupin who is a servant/maid for The Blacks (Crimson Rivers, anyone?)

Remus works for The Black family as a servant since his family is low in status and wealth. He does it for his parents, and because he thinks he’s a disappointment for them and he wants to do better. He’s also falling in love with Sirius Black but tries to hold himself back. He’s like that one servant/maid Elizabeth told to hide in the first movie. This means Reg and Remus (and maybe Lily?) friendship!! Maybe he often sneaks off with Sirius and James to hang out? Maybe he and Reg often speak about Sirius and James?

Peter is kind of playing Snape right now. He’s friends with Sirius and James, and also befriended Remus! He ‘works’ as a shop-keeper for science and stuff like that, but secretly, he’s also working for Voldemort (Davy Jones) as a pirate. So he’s a traitor and is keeping an eagle eye on both sides, but he sides with the good in the end (or the bad, if you’d like).

Lily is a hardcore lesbian who got promised by James for a lavender marriage if she doesn't find the love she deserves. James used to be into her because, who wasn’t? When they were kids, she was his crush, and they were expected to be together. She’s middle class, too. The crush James had on her fades slowly, but Sirius still teases them. She’s actually in love with her neighbor, Mary Macdonald.

Mary is also middle class, quite normal, yet she’s kind of like Belle. Always in a book, and “too smart for a girl”. She’s kind of thought of as a ‘witch’ and there’s suspicion around her for it. She often steps into Peter’s shop and requests watches, compasses, etc. and who is Peter to deny? He’s not like those guys. Yes, she’s also in love with Lily, but makes her work for it.

Marlene is also a pirate, but for Dumbledore (Barbosa). She’s wild and carefree, and not afraid to fight for her captain! She’s in love with her job and her role as a ‘vice captain’ and will always fight and boast about her role. So, you can imagine how she feels when mid battle with Voldemort’s crew, (The Death Eaters), she encounters Dorcas Meadowes, and falls head over heels in love with her.

Dorcas works for Voldemort without the want or the desire to be, but she does it for her family because otherwise, he’d easily kill them with a snap of his fingers. Voldemort is very wary towards her since he knows she’s powerful and as strong as him, and keeps an eye on her, and to do so, he made her his ‘vice captain’.

Regulus is Elizabeth Swan. He’s trans, and he knows it, yet he can’t do a thing about it. He wears dresses, his hair is long and curly, and his mascara feels too heavy on his lids. The reason why he transitions is because James tells him to embrace his true self, and to never look back at who he used to be, and that his family doesn’t control him anymore. He’s literally in the middle of an ocean, with pirates, and yet, he cuts his hair off, wears his brother’s clothes, and keeps his voice low.

Barty is the son of Bartemius Crouch Senior and plays the role of Jack Sparrow. Crouch Senior, who basically takes the place of Commodore Norrington, and despite the age gap, requests Regina Black (Regulus) as his wife. His son ran off to be a pirate and embrace his grandfather’s genetics. Everyone has heard of him, even Voldemort, who he at one point used to work for (that’s how he knew Dorcas, one of his best friends he misses dearly and knows he’ll reunite with one day). He’s in love with Regulus, yet hides it and knows it’ll never work for them. (Evan is right there, dumbass).

Evan is like Mr. Gibbs, he’s always around Barty and is his ‘vice captain’, fights with him, protects the ship with him, and also will never give up his love and hope for him and being with him. They do end up together, it just takes a long fucking time. (The sexual tension is high).

Pandora plays the role of Shansa, the ‘sea-witch’ that unwillingly works for Barbosa (Dumbledore). Dumbledore had died from the hands of his friend Snape (who’s now dead, or not), and got resurrected by Pandora. She’s now in “debt” and is forced to tell him his future and what he should do to be successful. She just wants to find her brother again.

Jegulus: Regina (Regulus) was on the ship with her brother, their parents wanted to bring them along since Sirius was the future heir of their family, and he wouldn’t leave the house without his sister. They were having fun around the ship, Regina 7 and Sirius 8 or 9, maybe even 10 because that means James would also be 10 and age gaps were pretty big back then. They were playing hide and seek and Regina was the one seeking Sirius. She glanced over to the ocean and saw James passed out and floating in the water on a wooden board. She called out, “FATHER, MOTHER, THERE’S A BOY IN THE WATER! COME, LOOK!” Her father came running and so did Sirius from his hiding spot. They saved him, Regina saw his necklace and that he was a pirate, Sirius also saw the necklace and they decided to hide it from everyone, even James himself (he'd probably find out about it the same way Will did in the movies), they found out his name was James, and they basically saved him. Now in present times, he’s their family blacksmith (or the blacksmith’s (Aberforth) assistant, really), but the blacksmith gets all the credit even though he doesn’t do shit and James does everything (Regulus knows but acts like he doesn't. He respects it a lot.). He always hangs out with Sirius, Remus, and Peter, and Regina wishes she could also come along but she can’t because she’s a girl and she can’t do boy stuff, her family forbids it. This leads to her discovery of feeling different than other girls her age (she hangs out with Lily and Mary often times) and her finding out she’s trans. Their love storyline basically goes through the same as Wills and Elizabeth’s, except Regulus cutting his hair and transitioning.

Wolfstar: Wolfstar is so obvious and needs to happen already. Everyone knows about their obvious feelings for each other and the now sexual and overall general tension between the both of them. I don’t really know much about what their plot would be since they would be added characters because they don’t exist in the movies, yk? I can imagine them being very slow burn and when defeating Voldemort (Davy Jones), that’s when they finally kiss after seeing him die, and then they’re shocked and pull apart, but then dive back in and there’s more passion and James is laughing (he might or might not be the new captain of The Flying Dutchman, you decide), Barty’s gagging, Evan’s rolling his eyes, and Regulus is screaming “FUCKING FINALLY!”

Rosekiller: James and Barty go get a crew for their STOLEN ship, and in that crew, we meet quiet Evan Rosier, who seems quite out of his element. Barty takes a liking to him and afterwards calls him over to get to know him better (and also because he’s hot asf). He finds out that after losing his twin sister, he just hasn’t been the same, and he’s been trying to find her with no success. Barty offers to help him, and they make a kind of deal. Overtime, they both realize that this ‘friendship’ is more than just a friendship, and that they aren’t just trying to find his sister anymore, and that Evan feels happier like he used to be before Pandora was taken from him. Maybe they sleep together, or maybe they don’t, who knows? The writer does.

Bartylus: It was one-sided, and not that obvious because Barty was known to be a bit of a…well…slag, if you will. No one would have ever guessed that he was smitten for Regulus. Well, no one other than Regulus himself and Evan Rosier, his right hand man (not for long). Regulus used this to his advantage, even though he could tell James didn’t trust Barty fully yet. When he left Barty for death, he had kissed him goodbye, leaving him with unrequited hopes. When Evan found out, he was very upset and even tried to get back on the ship but they began quickly moving away. He was screaming for Barty, and I think that’s when Barty took one look at Evan from the distance, saw the look on his face, and immediately felt those feelings he’s had for so long towards the blonde overflow him, and recognize themselves as love. He was in love with his side-kick. Surprisingly, they had actually had their first kiss after Barty found out about James’ and Regulus’ wedding, he just finally stopped being in denial after that. He had made out with Evan and even slept with him, and he kept doing so, even when he was convincing himself it meant nothing, and it tore Evan’s heart into shambles every time. They do end up together of course, just through piles of angst and depression.

Marylily: They’re more of a side relationship, but still very important to the lore! Lily discovered herself when she was around Mary and felt like she had found herself and knew herself truly. She had always felt like something was missing, but when with Mary, everything felt perfect. When they first spoke, Mary felt a connection that she had never felt for anyone nor anything but her books. They first spoke when they saw each other in the library, them being the only women that ever stepped in there. They had reached for the same book at the same time, and that’s how they first spoke, even though Lily had been admiring her for the past 3 years. Mary knew, obviously, she just didn’t say anything about it because she wanted to see how deeply in love Lily was with her. Their relationship is like Remus’ (Mary) and Sirius’ (Lily) in Crimson Rivers. Tension, embarrassing themselves, stuttering over each other, blushing, laughing, etc. They both do become ‘pirates’ and join the Marauders and Skittles, they just live in their own little world, yet play big parts of course.

Before we move on to Dorlene, I wanted to mention that in this AU, Voldemort’s crew, The Death Eaters, wear flowy cloaks when underwater or during a battle. Otherwise, they look their usual selves, possibly with scars, piercings, and whatnot.

Dorlene: Marlene works for Dumbledore (Barbosa), while Dorcas works for Voldemort (Davy Jones) unwillingly. There’s two outcomes; 1, Dumbledore’s crew and Voldemort’s crew fought once, and during that fight, Marlene and Dorcas had fought together, and they both had been shocked at the other’s techniques and stuff (Dorcas was fully masked). Later on, during another battle (this time Marlene is friends with The Marauders and the girls, and Dorcas is with The Slytherin Skittles), Dorcas is unmasked and while fighting, they realize that they had been fighting each other before. Or 2, during the big battle scene with both Death Eaters and The Order, they stumble upon each other and Dorcas is, again, clothed. They fight, and Marlene marvels at her techniques and her smooth and slick movements, while Dorcas is entranced by Marlene’s beauty and flexibility. Suddenly, Marlene manages to slash off Dorcas’ mask when she’s distracted, and when picking it up, Dorcas looks up, and they make eye contact, and Marlene feels her heart drop. She runs off, panicking because she can not feel this way for someone on the opposing side! She won’t allow herself to fall that deep into this horrible hole!

I don’t really have an idea how Regulus, Barty, Evan, Dorcas, and Pandora would become friends, I also have no clue how they’d save Pandora and stuff, but hopefully I’ll figure that out if I write it, or you do! Also, Pandora definitely uses her cool powers and stuff and abilities to wreck anyone and everyone who touches her brother and soon-to-be brother-in-law! And her friends, of course.

I don’t know where this rant came from tbh but oh my DAYS I needed to get this out of me. I’ve had this idea for a while and wanted to write about it but I didn’t know how or what words to use. If there is a fic like this, please let me know! And if not, I’ll hopefully try my best to write it, or you can also claim this idea and make it your own!

[blitheringmcgonagall]

Marauders: reactions to The Prank

(I was asked for my thoughts, so here you are! I’m basing this off canon, not the more fanon based characterisation of the marauders, especially Remus!)

Part 1: Remus

Part 2: Sirius

He doesn’t just randomly one day tell that bastard Snape about how to get past the Whomping Willow. FFS there’s a reason for it. Or rather, lots of reasons (relating to Snape & his gang, to his parents, to his idiot too-soft brother, to his protectiveness towards his friends and most especially towards Remus who has enough problems already). Did he talk to anyone about what was going on for him and how he was feeling??? *scoffs in stiff upper lip*

TL; DR - That fucker will rue the day he tried to ruin Remus John Lupin’s life.

Exact details of why it happened and how it happened here: Boys Don’t Cry

It takes him some time to fully appreciate that Snape has actually, genuinely, decided to prove Remus is a werewolf immediately, and fuck it, he’s so angry at Snape in that moment he may have wished him dead, might have goaded him into… well, that’s hardly a surprise: he’s a Black, after all. He was always going to go down the wrong path, fuck things up, prove his mother right…

He drinks a bottle of firewhisky in one go. He tells James. He collapses in a corner of the Common Room while James springs into action to save the fucking day. He has fucked everything up.

He manages to access Dumbledore’s sleeping quarters later that night (pretty hard for a student to achieve, let alone a completely sozzled one) and wakes him up to tell him. “It was I, Sirius Orion Black, who told that wanker Sniv” (That’s how Reg would have put it, because he’s a snooty idiot)

He tells Dumbledore it was all his fault, only because Prongs is a fool and might try to take the fall for him.

He was right. He knows Prongs better than he knows himself.

He has a very uncomfortable meeting with Dumbledore the next day where he has to sit and listen to the headmaster pretending to be concerned for his wellbeing. Frankly, he doesn’t give a shit about being expelled, or ruining his friendships, or anything, really.

Weirdly, Dumbledore (who he’s pretty sure doesn’t like him, because unlike most students who worship the Headmaster, he’s not into licking arses, well not that ar oh forget it) decides that what’s done is done and he’s not expelled. His parents aren’t even told. Very odd (thank fuck, what a massive relief. He deserved an Orion Special Punishment though. He almost wishes Dumbles told them). He’s to do detention every Friday for most of next year though, with Minnie M Gonagall. He secretly thinks that could be ok, nice even, but fucked if he’ll ever admit that!

He doesn’t talk to the others because why would they want him now? They’ll definitely disown him, and he deserves it, so…

On the last day of school, Prongs manages to give him a pep talk without actually saying a single word. *stares ahead and blinks in Boys Don’t Cry*

He goes home for the summer. Walburga monitors all his mail, so even in the unlikely event that anyone DID try to contact him, he won’t get the owl. He’s pretty certain nobody tries.

It’s not exactly a roaring success of a summer (ask his father, his mother, Reggie or Bella for details).

To cut a long story short - he gets disowned and blasted off the Black Family Tree. He doesn’t care. He refuses to care. He runs away to James’ house because he didn’t have time to make a good/better plan, and then it was too late cause he blacked out, and whatever. He’s completely fine.

He wakes up to find James being a ponce and, well, Babbitty Rabbiting on about how great it’ll be to have him living there, how he was really worried about him etc etc. Prongs thinks he’s still unconscious so he keeps his mouth shut. It’s quite heartwarming hilarious actually. He decides he better stay to monitor James’ mental state (also the Potters are implacable af in the rare case when they put their foot down and refuse to be moved) …

He’s dreading the train journey back to school on 1st September. He doesn’t see Remus. Unfortunately, he does see his parents (who are spitting fire at Mia Potter - FYI: unwise, but they learn that the hard way) and Reg (who ignores him because he’s not family any more). He doesn’t care though. He’s completely fine. He refuses to care.

He knows he needs to apologise to Remus but he’s really awful at apologising because what if Remus refuses his apology, not that he’d be that devastated but nobody ever apologised in his house so he’s not used to it.

He isn’t a coward though.

He eventually apologises.

Remus calls the whole thing a silly prank, soon James is referring to it, offhand, as The Prank. He’s pretty astute at figuring out people’s feelings, he can see Remus tensing any time it’s brought up.

But if anyone were to ask him about it? “It served him right. Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to …hoping to get us expelled…” *clears throat in pureblood*

Regret it???? “Je ne regrette rien.”

I try to laugh about it/ Cover it all up with lies/I try to laugh about it/ Hiding the tears in my eyes/ Cause boys don't cry

[My version of the prank and the canon marauders story afterwards including Halloween 1981 and what actually happened, in case anyone is interested]

[ev-angelie]

•Bloody knees bring back memories•

(Rosekiller muggle au part3 1/2)

(I gave it a tittle!!-I don't know if I like it yet-)

On a walk back from school, as Barty skated, he saw a black-haired boy and a blonde girl arguing very loudly.

"Dora, who told you that stepping on a flower will be bad luck for three months?" The short black-haired boy said with a confused face.

"Reg, everyone says that! How haven't you heard... oh yeah I forgot that you're all the time with those headphones in your ears!"

The blonde girl that was apparently called Dora said back.

"Dora, shut up!" The black-haired boy shouted with his hands in his hair making it messy now.

Barty was paying too much attention to them to see the tree in front of him and that resulted in him falling on the tree.

"Oh fuck..." he tried to get up but he was way too dizzy to even think. "I never thought I would die like this..." Barty thought before closing his eyes.

~~~~~

"Is he alive?" Are those the angels that came for me? Barty thought, slowly opening his eyes.

"I think so."

"Get his pulse idiot!"

"Ok ok chill girl"

"Ew he has foul breath"

"He's at least breathing!"

He opened his eyes expecting to see two beautiful angels but he saw... the black-haired boy from before and the blonde girl whose names he couldn't recall.

"He's waking up!"

"Hello? Is this hell!?" He said while still lying on the ground, a very hot ground.

"No! My name is Pandora and this is Regulus" The blonde girl said smiling wide at Barty who was still lying on the ground. "Nice to meet you...Can you maybe help me a bit here?" She murmured something he couldn't comprehend while helping him get up.

"I didn't introduce myself! Name's Barty and question have you seen my skateboard?" He tried to look around the park but his skateboard was nowhere to be found. 'Where is my baby?' Barty thought.

"Don't panic! It's here and it's not broken by the way." Regulus said holding my skateboard with the white rose on the bottom.

Barty breathed a sigh of relief as Regulus handed him his skateboard. “Thanks, dude,” he said, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over him. Despite the embarrassing fall, he was grateful for their help.

“Are you alright?” Pandora asked, her concern evident in her voice. “That was quite a fall you took.”

Barty nodded, feeling a bit sheepish. “Yeah, just a little shaken up. I guess I was distracted.”

Pandora chuckled, her blue eyes sparkling with amusement. “Oh? By what?.” She chuckled kicking secretly Regulus who looked at her weirdly.

Regulus rolled his eyes, then looked at Pandora with disgust. "I was very distracted by your... very interesting argument."

“Is that sarcasm I hear?” Pandora protested, her tone indignant. “I’ll have you know that superstitions are serious business!”

Barty laughed, feeling the tension of the fall dissipate. “Well, thanks for helping me out, you two. I owe you one.”

“No problem,” Regulus said, shrugging casually. “Would you like to hang out tonight?.”

“Sure," Barty replied, giving them a grateful smile. “See you around.”

That day Barty returned home with a happy smile playing on his lips.

[kittykatkatelol2]

"Plants" Jegulus Oneshot

Prompt by @jegulus-microfic (prompt: plant)

-

"I'll be right back, gotta use the restroom."

Regulus nods as James walks away - more like wanders away, to Regulus's dormitory bathroom.

James gasps as he walks in-

"REGGIE I THINK SOMEONE BROKE IN TO YOUR LOO !" James called frantically.

Regulus rolled his eyes, chucking a little, for he doubted anyone would ever break into only a restroom. But he got up anyways and joined James in the bathroom.

"Uh, love, I don't see anything wrong-"

"THERE ARE SO MANY PLANTS !" James says loudly, pointing out the very obvious.

There were a lot of small plants (hell even a couple big plants) on most surfaces of this bathroom, mostly succulents; as if it wasn't already green enough from the dark green tile floor, and light green walls, and a green shower curtain the same colour as the classic green Slytherin colour.

"SOMEONE BROKE IN AND LEFT A BUNCH A PLANTS IN YOUR BATHROOM-"

"Jamie, those are my plants. No body broke in to my dorm to leave me a fuck ton of plants," Regulus says, chucking a little again as he watched James's face as he registered Regulus's words and as it finally clicked for James.

James's mouth made a small 'O' shape and he quickly apologized.

"Oh um sorry, Reg, I guess that should have been obvious," James says, laughing a little, but it was nervous laughter.

"It's fine, Jamie."

"You just - you just don't look, nor act, like the type of guy to basically collect plants. It's cool though."

Regulus smiled at James; James was one of the few to make Regulus properly smile like this.

"Thank you, love. I'll leave you to this."

James nods as Regulus leaves the restroom.

This was not at all what James expected, but fuck he secretly (or maybe not so secretly) loved this little thing about his Reggie. Who knew Regulus loved plants.

-

[Word count: 312]

[A/N: to me, most of this was just "its so stupid its funny" to me. So take that as you will lmao-]

[kquil]

every time i find a new blog by sifting through the x reader categories i find the prettiest blogs known to mankind istg ♡ congrats on 1000 btw!!! im new here but love, love, LOVE your writing already.

for your celebration, could i get a 🧁 by chance?

im 5'4, brown hair with dark blue eyes. im an introvert, infp, and a slytherin [ mainly cause im ambitious as hell ]. i love, love the color pink!!! it's my favorite color of all fucking time. like, i see something i like, ill be looking for it in the color pink. i like to think im a very giving and generous person. just today one of my new co-workers said they liked my bracelet and my instant reaction was to give it to her. plus, i like to see other humans happy. i truly believe in the kindness is free sort of deal.

when it comes to interpersonal relationships, my usually introverted self becomes much more open. still, i can be pretty reserved even with my friends because my social battery drains so, so quick. however, with those select few, it feels like i don't have a social battery. my hopes for a romantic relationship would definitely include movie nights with a giant pillow fort. if we can't do that, then what's the point. oh, and bookstore dates + picnics afterward. also, my love languages are definitely touch and gift giving. something wonky and weird about me is that im extremely prone to accidents. im constantly discovering random bruises all over myself + getting hurt, and ending up in the emergency room.

i think that's a pretty good description of me!! so yeah (: again, fricken love ur blog!!!! ♡

awwww~ thank you so much for liking my blog aesthetic and calling it pretty and enjoying my writing! that makes me so happy! (≧▽≦) since you’re new here, welcome! and i hope you enjoy what i came up with for you~ 

I ship you with Regulus Black 

i. for a slytherin, you’re quite unique in how you act sometimes. regulus being his usually observant self always sees you in his peripheral with your close group of friends but also often easily making friends with other houses when forced to interact during classes. he can see that they realise how personable you are and how…you’re nothing like a slytherin but regulus can also see those snake-like traits in you. he sees your high ambitions and it isn’t anything like his other slytherin friends’ hopes for their futures. you don’t crave power for yourself, you crave reaching your personal, unfeasible goals. he often hears you muttering to yourself about what achievements you want to get in your academics, he doesn’t believe you’ll make it but keeps his mouth shut and waits for the results… proving him wrong each time, and now, he finds himself secretly hoping that you achieve everything you hope to achieve in life, no matter how formidable. 

ii. you keep surprising him. he’s never seen green be paired with so much pink before. but you make it work somehow, he doesn’t know why it suits you so well when it would look ridiculous on other people. when he glimpses you from across the library and takes in all your pink stationary, he imagines his slytherin friends with the same pink materials and snorts when the image that manifests in his mind becomes too ludicrous for him to imagine further. “What’s got you in such a light mood, Reg?” one of his friends asks suspiciously, missing the way his steel-grey eyes linger on you before answering, “nothing…”

iii. another way that you intrigue regulus is through your interaction with your close friends. he has many who would rather lose their limbs than share their good fortune with others but you don’t even bat an eye when offering your personal valuables. It’s so otherworldly to regulus how you’re passive to power and wealth but still so ambitious and snake-like. you bring a new image about slytherins that’s refreshing and hardly ever antagonistic, creating a warm feeling that blooms in his chest. regulus reasons that it’s hope for future slytherins to follow in your example when he’s too caught up in his family drama to confidently make independent decisions. That’s not the only feeling he’s experiencing, however, and it becomes obvious the more time he spends at Hogwarts with you slowly moving from his peripheral view to his centre of focus.

iv. regulus was subtle in his approach but to his friends, who knew him, he was being too obvious. he first approached you in the library, appearing to look at the books in the shelves next to you as you were preoccupied with reading one you had recently pulled off the shelf. he glances at you over the cover of the book he was pretending to read and you do the same, the two of you actually meet eyes a couple of times but never say a word to each other. it’s become quite a small routine for the two of you to read standing side by side at the shelves. sometimes, regulus would be the one to approach you, other times it would be you approaching him. Sometimes it would be for long periods of time, to the point where you both would end up sitting on the floor together, and other times, it would be for a short few minutes and one of you has to leave. it was a good routine, quickly becoming familiar and comfortable but it was too silent. 

v. eventually, at the same time, you two plucked up the courage to ask the other to sit at a table and read. it was quite a flustering situation; it was the first time he got to hear your voice up close and it was the first time you got a close up look on the famous, younger one of the Black brothers. over time, your relationship and readings together became a semi-cuddle on the common room sofas where you both held a book to read and one of you would eventually find their fingers combing through the other’s hair. many of your house mates saw you two like this and grew curious over how such an odd couple came to be. a unique pairing, indeed. a very true slytherin loving on a slytherin that didn’t really act like one. they grew to accept it eventually. 

vi. the two of you were in denial, however; you two were just good friends. good friends who spent a lot of time together, gifted each other small but meaningful things, who go to the bookstore together while holding hands, who frequently go on picnics by the lake after visiting the kitchens and who cuddle close to each other at every opportunity. It’s all innocent, just like how regulus innocently kisses your temple whenever he greets you and innocently holds your hand on instinct; carrying around a bottle of bruise ointment for your clumsiness. Very innocent indeed, with the way you like to curl up in regulus’s arms for comfort, seeking him out for every little thing, no matter how small, innocent, with how close you like to keep your face close his, how you seem to be the only one to make regulus happy and how he only seems to relax into your arms and nobody else's — he wouldn’t even let others touch him, especially not in the same way you do. 

vii. yes, it’s all very innocent but you two are so perfect together, i can’t see you with anyone else other than our beloved reggie. you two just have to get it together and finally make it official — everyone’s sick and tired of your puppy love, simply because you’re too cute of a couple to even make fun of.

1K MILESTONE EVENT | NAVI.

[catboywrites]

Hey cat so I was wondering what your nsfw hcs are for your characters? Mainly for STaED as that’s the only story we’ve seen so far to have that sexual dynamic on page. (This is my contribution to the writing machine that is cat 🫡)

thank you for your contributions >:3

james is a biter. he's like a fucking vampire. he loves seeing regulus covered in his marks because he's possessive and he loves the whiney little moans reg makes when he sinks his teeth into him. he is also the king of body worship. it makes regulus flustered, but james could spend five hours straight just kissing every inch of regulus' body and telling him how perfect he is.

aside from one another, they have no experience. they were each other's first and only. james because he was heartbroken reg was gone and reg because he was too busy raising harry to care about or want sex. because of this, they are masters at each other, but not probably very good with other partners.

regulus is secretly a pillow princess, but he denies it. he likes laying back and letting james take care of him, but he's also mouthy so he has a hard time just laying back and doing nothing. as he's gotten older, he's much less likely to just lay back and he's much more active in sex.

james potter does not know the meaning of a quickie. if his reg doesn't orgasm at least twice he has failed him. once in foreplay and again in actual sex. if they only have five minutes, do not have sex with james.

reg will not get bottom surgery in or after the story, which is his personal choice. however, they both stay away from words like "pussy" for his mental well-being. most of the time, he doesn't mind vaginal sex, but on really bad dysphoria days, he will only allow anal, which james of course respects.

james is both long and thick. reg got the best of both worlds with that one.

when they first moved into their flat in london together, they christened every room. sirius came by and didn't tell them he was going to do so, and flopped down immediately onto the couch they had just finished having sex on an hour ago. they'll take that secret to their grave.

[shadow-tumbler]

Written in the stars

Prologue

3rd person pov

*1983*

The young girl stood nervous by the door of the classroom as she had recently moved schools after her farther got a job promotion "hi there sweetheart are you okay?" The teacher asked and the girl nods. The teacher could tell the girl was nervous "luke could you come over here please?!" The teacher called out and a boy her ages came over "would you be so kind as be our new students buddy?" The teacher asked and it even since then that Charlotte and luke became best friends and luke introduced her to his other friends Alex, Reggie and Bobby. The 5 of them where always seen together and their friendship only grew stronger as they grew up but eventually Charlotte her feelings towards reggie shift to something else entirely. At age 13 the boys started a band and Charlotte was a huge supporter tho she wished she could be in said band, when the school talent show came around she decided to secretly sign up bring on her guitar. She waits backstage and when she called on she walked up ignoring the stares she got from the boys, she takes a deep breath and starts stumming her guitar



If I could reach the top of the world

Be all I am it'd be so beautiful

If only...

I could be brave and I could be strong

I would know where I belong

If only

I wanna feel free to be who I am

What I'm about is more than I've been

Ready to show the world who I am

Start letting out what I am holding in

Find my own place to stand

So I could be who I am

Yeaaah

I have it inside, I know that I do

All that I am is gonna break through

If only...

I could believe and live it right now

Take the time to work it out

If only...

I wanna feel free to be who I am

What I'm about is more than I've been

Ready to show the world who I am

Start letting out what I am holding in

And find my own place to stand

So I could be who I am

I'm closer to where I'm meant to be

If I try I know that I can get there

I'm not gonna stop 'cause I believe

That there's so much more... to me to me

So much more oooohhh

I wanna feel free to be who I am

What I'm about is more than I've been

Ready to show the world who I am

Start letting out what I'm holding in

Find my own place to stand

So I could be who I am

Yeaah yea yeaah yea yea

So I could be who I am

I can be who I am

Yea...

*song over*

Apon walking off stage she was bombarded by the boys "why did you never say you could sing?!" Luke asked her "well I just felt really nervous about it 1 because I didn't think I was that good and 2 you know how my parents feel about music being more then just something you listen to" I say. My parents did exactly see music as a proper career choice and they made that very clear especially ever since the guys started their band "well you were amazing!" Alex says making her smile "thanks Alex" she says as the boys all look at one another "hey Char.....how would you feel about joining our band?" Luke asked with a slight smirk. She almost couldn't believe it "are you serious?" She asked them "definitely, you clearly have the passion for music" luke says "and the voice of an angel" reggie says making me blush a little bit.

It was on Charlotte's 16th birthday while hanging out with the guys that reggie gets her attention "so um I have something I wanna ask you" he says and the girl turns to him "yea reg?" She asked smiling "well I ummmm......" he gets inrrupted by Alex "he wants you to be his girlfriend" he says. Charlotte couldn't believe it "so?" Reggie asked her and she simply kissed his cheek "does that awnser you question babe" she says and reg gets this big goofy smile on his face "well its about time!" Bobby says making charlotte giggle a little bit. The next year was amazing but it was made even better when they were rehearsing for a show at the Orpheum which is huge for them especially since a loads of bands became extremely popular after playing this theatre.

(1, 2, 3)

Luke: Take off

Last stop

Countdown till we blast open the top

Face first

Full charge

Electric hammer to the heart

All: Clocks move forward

But we don't get older, no

Kept on climbing

Till our stars collided

Luke: And all the times we fell behind

Were just the keys to paradise

All: Don't look down

'Cause we're still rising

Up right now

And even if we

Hit the ground

We'll still fly

Keep dreaming like we'll live forever

But live it like it's now or never

Luke: Hear the noise

In my head

It's calling out like a voice I can't forget

One life

No regrets

Catch up, got no time to catch my breath

All: Clocks move faster

'Cause it's all we're after now

Won't stop climbing

'Cause this is our time, yeah

When all the days felt black and white

Those were the best shades of my life

Don't look down

'Cause we're still rising

Up right now

And even if we

Hit the ground

We'll still fly

Keep dreaming like we'll live forever

But live it like it's now or never

Alex: We ain't searching for tomorrow (reggie & Charlotte: tomorrow)

'Cause we got all we need today (reggie & Charlotte: today)

Alex:Living on a feeling that's been running through our veins

Reggie: We're the revolution that's been singing in the rain

All: Don't look down

'Cause we're still rising

Up right now

And even if we

Hit the ground

We'll still fly

Keep dreaming like we'll live forever

But live it like it's now or never

It's now or never (Charlotte: now or never)

*song over*

Charlotte couldn't believe how good that felt, The boys all pulled away from their instruments, Alex slowing down his beats while Charlotte concluded the song with a small guitar riff before her and Alex ended with one last beat of their instruments. The energy of that was plusing though the girls vains as she puts down to her guitar hearing a few cheers from the employees Orpheum making the girl smile. "Whoo Excellent!" "Sounds great, guys!" A hand on her shoulder caused the girl to open her eyes. her gaze shifting over to reggie who was smiling widely at her and he kissed her Forehead, Charlotte couldn't help but smile back. She turns her attention to the other boys who all had smiles apon their faces, "Whoo! Yeah!" one of the workers closest to them continued to cheer while Stephanie's smile continued to grow. This was the biggest night of their lives and they were merely hours away from playing for a big crowd at the Orpheum, They were about to become legends and nothing could ruin her mood.

"Thank you!" Charlotte said, smiling

towards the workers. "We're Sunset

Curve" reggie adds on "Too bad we wasted that on the soundcheck. That was the tightest we've ever played," Bobby told them while he and Luke high five one another. "There's always room for improvement, Bobby. Besides, I have a feeling our performance will be just that much better when we're feeding off the crowd's energy," Charlotte said, turning to Reggie who had wrapped his arms her from behind course her to ever so slight lean against him. Luke smile "she's right guys, we're gonna be so much better when the crowds energy is pumping though our vains so just wait until tonight, man, when this place gets packed with record execs" Luke agreed.

"Alex, you were smoking," Reggie

complimented while the drummer

looked to him in surprise before

bashfully lowering his head. "Oh, no. I was just warming up," Alex tried to say. "You guys were the ones on fire."

"Alex you were rocking it!" Charlotte complained as she playfully punched his shoulder. "Could you just own your awesomeness for once?" Reggie asked. Alex looked to Luke and Bobby who were nodding in agreement before glancing down The blonde eventually gave in, a smile appearing on his face, "Alright, I was killing it" he says "hell yea you were!" Charlotte says with a smile. "Ok, well, I'm thinking we fuel up before the show. I'm thinking street dogs," Luke suggested while Alex and Reggie quickly agreed. Charlotte however wasn't over hungry so she decided to stay back here while the boys went to eat, she followed Bobby over to the girl waitress who had been cheering

the loudest for them. "Hey, Bobby,

where you going?' Luke asked as he, reggie and Alex followed behind as well.

'T'm good,' Bobby tried to say, but

the rest of the band was already on

his tail as he approached the girl.

"Vegetarian," he told her causing

Charlotte to scrunch up her nose and

look to Reggie who chuckled as she

mouthed the word to him. "I could

never hurt an animal" he says and char just rolled her eyes, "You guys are really good" the girl told them before looking to Charlotte and smiling. "And you killed it out there girl" Charlotte smiled "Thank you very much" she says  said while the boys all grinned "I see a lot of bands. Been in a couple myself. I was really feeling it," she told them, her words making charlotte's smile widen while she tried to sneakily punch the arm of the person closest to her - Alex - in excitement "That's what we do this for," Luke said, clapping a hand on Bobby's shoulder "I'm Luke by the way" he says "and I'm Charlotte, btw I love your outfit" she says "thank you" the girl says.

"Hi, I'm Reggie." "Alex", "Bobby.", "Nice meeting you guys," the girl told them. "I'm Rose", "Oh, uh. . .here's our demo" Reggie said, handing the girl a CD. "And a T-shirt, Size beautiful." Luke says handing her a t-shirt "Thanks. I'll make sure not to wipe the tables down with this one. "Oh, good call. Whenever they get wet, they just kinda fall apart in your hands,' Alex told her, holding his hands out for emphasis as he spoke. "Don't you guys have to go get hot dogs?" Bobby questioned, obviously annoyed. Luke glanced at the boy and pat his shoulder once.

The boys left reggie making sure to kiss Charlotte's head once more before leaving "you two are really cute together" Rose says "yea reg is the best, I don't know what I did to deserve him" Charlotte says smiling

*later*

"Where are they, Bobby? We go on in

five minutes. They should be back by

now" Charlotte insisted, hopping from one foot to another in an attempt to shake off some of the nervousness she was feeling "They'll be here, Steph. Stop worrying, Bobby told her, gently grabbing ahold of her shoulders and attempting to get her to stand still. "They wouldn't pass up on an a opportunity like this andyou saw how excited your brother was. He'll make sure they get back to the Orpheum one way or another." "But-" Charlotte began to say, her hands shaking a bit. "Remember what Luke told you about working yourself up before a gig. You get too jittery and it doesn't help you focus when you're on stage" Bobby reminded her. Charlotte frowned before closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath. "You're right,' she said, letting out the breath and smiling softly. "They'll be here, They always are" she reminds herself. That of course doesn't stop her worrying about the boys where abouts which in turn coursed her to start pacing as there came a knock at the dressing room door.

Bobby opened the revel two cops "is everything okay?" He asked and the second the word left their mouths Charlotte broke down in floods of tears "nooooo!" She screamed out feeling her heart shatter into a million Pecies. Over the next few mouth she became a shell of the girl she once was but what really broke what was left of her was when her parents set her up with someone else. The fight that followed course her to run out of the house and its unfortunately it was a mouth later that she was crossing the street late at night as a drunk driver came speeding down the street.

And this is just the start of the story of Julie and the phantoms.

[microposting]

NEW FARROW PATTY MATEO CONTENT YOOOO!!!! that was awesome. i reread the previous story as preparation and i loved how they acted out mateo’s fleeting idea from there in this one. patty laughing under the dresser made me giggle. and mateo being grumpy and unpacking the age difference added fun texture. AND the ending was so so sweet also, so cute, my fav. mateo was feeling left out!! but he was always included !!! argh i’m tired so words bad but: thank you. this brightened my day! ❤️❤️ -🌷

PS in the previous part, farrow tells patty (i’m paraphrasing) that mateo has “never hurt him on purpose” and in this one mateo observes that borrowers can take pretty nasty falls. is there a story to this? obv farrow gets pretty banged up (pun not intended) on the reg but am i forgetting some specific instance? not to close read ur porn hahah. anyway either way thanks as usual:) ‼️

YAAAAY I was iffy on that ending bit tbh I’m glad you liked it! love that u pregamed it lol fuck yeah

w the hurting thing I was trying to allude to like standard minor sex injuries like bruises n stiff joints yknow and the occasional drop could totally be included in that category. but also they’ve been hanging out casually enough at this point that he’s seen the moves farrow will pull without thinking twice. like he’ll drop from the sofa armrest to the floor and even if he messes up the landing he’s just a little sore afterwards. mateo does secretly finds it very impressive.

[limetimo]

RAB fics i read 13-1 april

All of You, All of Me (intertwined) by ajom28 celebrity fake dating jegulus muggle au, so far everyone's miserable

the golden king by maladaptivewriting !!!! regulus wakes up 1991, being 11, and pretending to be Sirius' secret lovechild he enrolls school withthe golden trio to protect harry (because he loved james). im loving it

Stars Of A Kind by orphan_account just regulus ruining his parents' dreams and aspirations

Silver Souls (He's the one for me) by Hhenesc im so--- why is everybody so stupid. why. is. everybody. so . stupid. talk to each other ffs. thank god for the lesbians

In a little welsh café in London by Thou_Maternal_Parent single parent remus, developing wolfstar

Certain Definitions of Normal by einsteinapproved for desertredwolf sirius is ftm trans, his friends and brother are helping

It was just a prank by DragonWitchPrincess this is more about sirisu being stupid than anything else

Learn How to Sprint Through a Stumble by sspideyman teen father regulus this is not a drill teen father regulus (he had a one night stand after sirius run away)

Heartbeats by Siriuslymoonyprongs yeah so trans regulus breaks up with james after he gets the dark mark, finds out he's pregnant, and eventually fakes both the child and his own death to protect them. after the war it's safe for them to re-emerge.

Mad Adventure by MightyMight shit gets fucked, hermione is yeeted to 1970s as barty crouch's older sister, and sets on destroying voldy before 1981.

Little One by Siriuslymoonyprongs sirius runs away from home, regulus is accepted by his parents as trans, and oooops he's pregnant with james

the stars of the night sky could never be enough by galaxy_of_pi angst no comfort of regulus dying (except it went from 1/1 to 1/15?? inchresting development)

Run Away With Me by Of_stars_and_moon for WolfstarPups90 reg gets basically adopted by the potters

The Dog and Deer Detective Agency by Artemisia_Black_95 detectives prongs and detective padfoot!

Kill Your Darlings by MesserMoon uni muggle au with hockey, they're t r y i n g okay

glimpses of heaven by lunahunt !!!! <3<3<3

Would You Come Be My Downfall? by WalkOnThroughARedParade regulus and remus pretend todate to get back at sirius. it doesnt stay fake for very long.

Ask away by purplefrogz texting jegulus!

but I cant find the brakes by thirdgleam (leafmeal0ne) james dumbs imself down for his friends to feel better, then studies secretly in the library at night, regulus also frequents the library at am hours.

There's just no gettin' through by neanora sirius finds regulus diary, big sad

Smoke Slow: A Spy!Regulus AU a series <3<3<3<3<3

i see how this ends (poorly) by Quillium !!!!!!!!! <3 my beloved

What We Do Today by Moe64 marauders era reading hp books (as written by trelawney)

Shimmering Beautiful (and when I break it’s in a million pieces) by srslvr13 for padfootsflowers sirius gets self destructive, regulus does damage control

at blue diner (i'll take anything you want to give me) by greenrosey spy regulus meets his ex once a month for info exchange, sad jegulus but like also hopeful somewhat

i'll be home for the summer by greenrosey the night canon-him would run away from home, sirius shoves regulus out of the door and stays at grimmauld. the marauders + reg plot how to get him out

blue and yellow skies by alarainai quidditch rivals to lovers fake dating jegulus

antithesis by rweoutofthewoods very lovely music au! jegulus

Bound By Honour by moonyfest lowercase screaming

5 pm by imagineacoolusername remus regulus friendship :)

no amount of therapy can help by The_wig_is_a_metaphor asudfhaosidufhaoif youtuber harry and tom riddle shenanignas

he'll be selfish, just this once (and many times in future) by vintagenovella iceskating regulus

His Word Is His Bond by FanonStar fem regulus asks james to marry her to avoid worse suitors

toys to be toyed with by aimlesscalamity bored and done with his friends regulus agrees to seduce james and or lily to break up the hogwarts star couple. they both faall for him but oops, he falls for them too

Three wrongs... by mothluvr lily WILL NOT be wooed by Potter like ugh that would be losing (even if he is kinda hot and got his shit together lately..-¨) so what's a girl gonna girl, a girl is gonna fuck the Slytherin seeker of course! accidentally leading to james' bi awakening. im having fun

Everything is Better with Chocolate by DEaTh220467 willy wonka regulus

Burden of Duty by Grey_Kenaz regulus is ace but also wants to hold up his duty and produce a heir with his wife. sirius works at a reproduction clinic. this is like, very heartwarming, for me as ace, it has my stamp of approval. I adore Else, she's so sweet!

I'm Staying Here And I'm Not Lyin' by ItsYlva reg comes out as nonbinary aroace to sirius

Your Love In Any Form by Anonymous aroace reg

We got chemistry, baby? by Sulfus jegulus

anosmia of the heart by bari_astra, bari_astralis jegulus is happy but snape makes them have a misunderstanding

Take you like a drug - I taste you on my tongue by Moonsss regulus likes fucking james behind sirius' back (no infidelity)

I promised myself I'd learn to be the one who leaves by AlistairIsLost regulus and friends run off to be a muggle band. they rock.

A Lost Soul (Found Once More) by INeedMoreSleepLmao regulus would very much like a nap thank you

Amicus Alter Ipse (Complexity) by aureusprongs for alarainai i have no recollection of reading this but im assuming it was good

[timetravelinator]

Who do you think is the BEST adapted character from Broadchurch to Malaterra. The worst?

Thank you for asking!!!

So each character in Malaterra has a slightly different backstory than their Broadchurch counterpart. And each change makes sense in context, because almost every change is made to further the theme of familial relationships due to the change in murderer for the series. So each character is only slightly different, but I still have three answers to this question somehow aslfsldfkj

So first off, the best adapted character to me is Ellie (Karine). The actress, Constance Dolle, does an exceptional job and looks remarkably like Olivia Colman. A thing I find extremely interesting is that this version really highlights Ellie's character. I personally feel like she's the "main" character of the series in the same way that I feel like Alec is the "main" character of Broadchurch, though you might feel differently, that's just an opinion. What I mean by this is that everything revolves around her, and that's painfully obvious in this adaptation, especially with Alec's story a bit downplayed and with the lack of the two following seasons. Also, she's kind of having a terrible time the whole show. As in Broadchurch, she gets passed up for a promotion on the same day as she finds her best friend's child murdered. She's questioning everything she ever knew about the people in her town. And then additionally, her dad's in a coma for a good half the series, so she's worried about him because they were very close. And then (and MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR spoilers here) it turns out her mom is not actually her mom and the woman she thought was her estranged sister is her mom (and is, in fact, also her sister, because her dad had a child with his own daughter) and she finds this out and basically she's got A LOT going on. And yet she still remains very Ellie. She's kind, even when it's tough. She's resilient. She's doing her very best to help her community. You can tell that character is Ellie, and I think that's what makes her the best adapted.

For the worst adapted, I have to say Reverend Paul Coates (Father Clement Costil) and okay. It's not even that the changes were bad, really. It's just that we did NOT explore the implications enough!!!! So yknow how in Broadchurch, Paul's backstory is that he's an alcoholic? Well. That's not it at all in Malaterra. So he's been going to this other town for extensive periods of time on the reg. And when Karine asks him about it he says he's visiting friends, doing priestly things, etc etc. But that's not what he's actually doing! It's worth noting that he is actually a Catholic priest in this one. Keep that in mind for what I'm about to say. So Thomas (Alec) is getting suspicious of him based on something Karine said. So he follows him for a bit. And he follows him to this other town, and Clement walks right up to this house and goes inside. And Thomas watches for a minute, and then he goes up and rings the doorbell. And this kid answers. And the kid's like "hey" and Thomas is like "uhhhh hey kid is your dad home?" and the kid's like "yeah" and calls for his dad and Clement shows up. So Catholic priest Clement has a secret family!!!!! He's a priest he's supposed to be married to the church and he secretly has a family!!! The implications of this are so interesting and we barely talk about it! And given the murderer change and the overall family themes in the show I think if that had been fleshed out, if he'd talked about why he was with this family and how much he loved them, I think it could've really said something and been a credit to the show overall. Like it's a great idea I just needed more!

Okay secret third answer is. Thomas. Is absolutely not the best or worst adapted. Honestly he's got very many very good Alec qualities. I mean, things are slightly more his fault, but there are so so so many scenes I love him in and I wish I could see David Tennant doing. HOWEVER. He also does the least Alec thing he could have possibly done in the whole show in my opinion. So I've always been of the headcanon, or really canon, that Alec is a picky eater. We always see him refuse food, he barely eats, it's a whole through line plot for him and Ellie in general. But I think it's pretty obvious that he doesn't ever really eat much of his own accord. But. In Malaterra. While Thomas is talking to Clement about his secret family, he points to an apple and is like "can I have that?" and Clement was like "yeah?" and he just EATS IT. HE EATS THE APPLE HE ASKED FOR. MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR YALL. And I think it was supposed to be because he was. Taking drugs at the time (his whole backstory/health journey is wild in this one!) but the drugs he's taking should actually suppress his appetite and not make him hungry!! This was just so wild I had to mention it here.

And I have to say. Even despite all of that? Better than Gracepoint!

[jegulus4444]

Last q for now (deeply thank you for indulging me 🫶):

what tv shows/ movies do you imagine jegulus watching these past few months? Or what are their OPINIONS on some event tv stuff ? (Ie barbiehimer, do they both agree GOT is awesome or do they prefer rings of power, do they even indulge in tv, and does James watch love island cuz he loves love and Reg secretly watched it w/ him cuz he likes to judge their social dynamics and spending time with Jamesie even tho he will never say 😂❤️)

HAHAHAHAH

I think the would’ve both love Barbie and James sings “I’m just ken” all the bloody time.

I’m sorry but I don’t know much about those shows

Maybe the love island thing is accurate but I’m not very familiar with that either

I DO THINK THEY BOTH WATCH ARISTOTLE AND DANTE THE MOVIE AND CRY ABOUT IT AND LOVED IT AND PROMISE TO LOVE EACH OTHER FOREVER !